can't sleep

It's way past my bedtime and I'm not tired at all. Why oh why?!

Oh...

I had a latte earlier.


Perhaps I shall read. Reading takes me into another realm where anything and everything is possible. I believe it's my way of flying without really flying.

I'm really getting into my book (Anna Karenina). I'm thoroughly enjoying Leo Tolstoy. I wish I could have met him, been his friend, or shaken his hand. The book is making me think about human relationships, love and of course, life. It's amazing. I'm about 300 pages into the book (I still have 515 more pages to go... it's the book that keeps giving) and not a whole lot has happened, yet Tolstoy's display of interwoven lives is so captivating. There is a conflict, but people don't just get swept away in it. They still meet up with their friends and live out the banalities of life. Although there are quite a few dramatic moments (where I put an exclamation point in the margin because I'm so shocked), I feel that the book reflects true moments of shame, embarrassment, joy, love. Tolstoy also mentions the soul quite often. I like that. It feels as if I'm getting to know the core of the character's being when he describes his/her soul. It's what I desire to know most - souls.

"I know his soul, and I know that we resemble each other."

I read Philippians today and it was quite encouraging. Once again, I realize I just need to pray more and worry less. For Paul, to live was Christ, to die was gain. I wonder... what does it mean for me to live?

To live is travel. To live is read. To live is watch movies. To live is listen to music. To live is spend time with uhma and friends.

"To live is Christ..."

I want to live.