It is well

with my soul.

We studied Job in Bible Study yesterday. I want to be able to say "It is well..." in all circumstances. I think that only happens when I stop focusing on myself or asking God "why?" and start considering who God is. Once I start thinking about God's mercy, grace, love, magnanimity, I and the question "why?" become so trivial. I'm so grateful that God is always the same. I'm so grateful that I can hope in Him.

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My high school senior english teacher made us write letters to our future selves in five years. I had my letter addressed to Sue's house because I wasn't sure where I'd be at age 23. Sue and I got together Saturday, had lunch and read our letters. Most of my letter was pretty silly and I could tell that I really didn't want to write the letter. I basically went through Mrs. Williams' guidelines and answered all the questions in an outline form.

It's interesting to notice what I expected of myself: hopefully you are single (check. It's funny because Sue wrote that she hoped she was married.), have a job or at least an internship (check), live in New York (hopefully in the near future). I was pleasantly surprised to read the advice I gave myself five years ago. Its relevancy shocked me. Well, I suppose the advice could relate to my life at any stage:
Stay focused! Smile. Have a consistent walk with God. Be humble and don't be afraid to love. If you haven't accomplished everything you thought you would, it's okay as long as you're happy.

After our fabulous lunch and trip down Memory Ln., I decided to visit the Steiner's. It had been way too long since I saw Sue's family. I drove by the lake and remembered our crew days. I loved rowing out to the middle of the lake. I would just sit and daydream. I drove through Main St., our little downtown in Lake Elsinore. I remembered our visits to the City Council meetings. We had to shadow a city council member for a day and I remember we discussed what we should do about development and Mom-and-Pop stores. I had no idea that Lake Elsinore would soon become just like any other suburbia. It saddens me. I also drove by my old houses... moments I'd like to forget flashed across my mind. I passed by Machado Park and remembered I took tennis lessons for a few weeks when I was 7. That's so weird - me playing tennis.

Okay, back to the Steiner household. It was nice to see everyone. Reed and Neil (two of Sue's three younger brothers) are so big. Will Park (was in ASB, one of the few Korean kids at my school) came over and we chatted for a little bit. It's always so warm and comfortable at Sue's place.

We were both so dissatisfied with our letters that we decided to write another letter to our future selves. We'll be 28 when we open them. That seems so far away, but I know it'll smack me in the face so soon. I wrote more about how I felt now so I could remember at 28. I think I made a short to-do list for the next five years. Oh and this time, I wrote about all the people in my life and what I predict for them. That was quite fun.

As I left Sue's place, I felt so full... just happily and refreshingly full.