30.11.06

Purged

Sometimes it feels good to cry. I never used to feel that way before. I usually feel the need to take a shower and sleep right after I cry. I've been this way since I was a child. My mama would scold me, I would cry, then take a nap. I would wake up with puffy eyes and feel much better. I was a cry baby when I was a child. I think I still am deep down inside, but I've suppressed those tendencies ever since 8th grade. I don't know why 8th grade, but that's what I remember.

I always feel bad when I cry in front of others because most of the time, they don't know what to do. It creates an awkward situation. It's such a strange thing: crying, tears... salty liquid coming out of one's eyes. I wonder why God made tears salty. I wonder why we even have the ability to cry.

There are different catalysts that may lead to crying: joy, sadness, anger, frustration, bitterness, etc. Joyful crying always surprises me because I don't expect or realize the tears. Sad crying makes my heart feel empty. Angry crying makes my shoulders tense. Frustrated/bitter crying makes my head hurt.

In the end, I feel exhausted.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Sometimes thinking of you gives me tears of joy.

Daniel Cho said...

Yikes.

Anonymous said...

ooo...who is this anonymous...hehe

jk jk

i cry a lot...a lot more than people think i do..haha...but no one knows..except one of my rooommates..haha..

sometimes it just can't be helped....

mina