I was sitting on Mansoo's bed waiting for him to finish his homework. He has three tests tomorrow that we need to study for.
Mansoo: Are you boring?
Me: No, you're boring. I'm bored.
Mansoo: What? You can't say that to me.
Me: Yes, I can.
16.9.05
15.9.05
Me Pregnant?!
Mansoo's mom cracks me up. We just chatted for about an hour as she was preparing for her feast tonight.
Mansoo's mom: You don't eat enough.
Me: Yes, I do.
Mansoo's mom: No, you don't. You should eat more. Otherwise, when you get pregnant, you won't be healthy enough. And later on in your life, your bones will start hurting.
Me: What?! Pregnant?!
Mansoo's mom: (laughs) I mean later later on after you're married. But you have to first find a boyfriend. Why don't you have a boyfriend?
(This is a recurring conversation topic: about every... 2 months or so, the "why don't you have a boyfriend?" question pops into any conversation)
Me: (just smiles and stays silent)
Mansoo's mom: Go be a girl and drop some wallets... trip and fall or something in front of a guy!
Me: (explodes in laughter) I have to fall, even?!
Mansoo's mom: Yes! Don't you watch Korean dramas?
(We laugh... this is my perfect opportunity to change the topic.)
Me: You know the tea cups you have up there in the cupboard. The ones on the very top on the very right? Where did you get them? (I've been meaning to ask. I'm a sucker for pretty cups)
Mansoo's mom: Oh, those. I think I got them at TJ Maxx.
Me: Really?! Wow, they seem so European.
Mansoo's mom: When you get married, I'll give them to you as a wedding present. (giddily smiles)
***
Mansoo's mom: 124
Grace: 0
Mansoo's mom: You don't eat enough.
Me: Yes, I do.
Mansoo's mom: No, you don't. You should eat more. Otherwise, when you get pregnant, you won't be healthy enough. And later on in your life, your bones will start hurting.
Me: What?! Pregnant?!
Mansoo's mom: (laughs) I mean later later on after you're married. But you have to first find a boyfriend. Why don't you have a boyfriend?
(This is a recurring conversation topic: about every... 2 months or so, the "why don't you have a boyfriend?" question pops into any conversation)
Me: (just smiles and stays silent)
Mansoo's mom: Go be a girl and drop some wallets... trip and fall or something in front of a guy!
Me: (explodes in laughter) I have to fall, even?!
Mansoo's mom: Yes! Don't you watch Korean dramas?
(We laugh... this is my perfect opportunity to change the topic.)
Me: You know the tea cups you have up there in the cupboard. The ones on the very top on the very right? Where did you get them? (I've been meaning to ask. I'm a sucker for pretty cups)
Mansoo's mom: Oh, those. I think I got them at TJ Maxx.
Me: Really?! Wow, they seem so European.
Mansoo's mom: When you get married, I'll give them to you as a wedding present. (giddily smiles)
***
Mansoo's mom: 124
Grace: 0
I want to be
Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails...
13.9.05
Blessed
The retreat was ... neat. It seemed a bit more tiring than other EM retreats because of the packed schedule and I was feeling a bit under the weather. However, I feel that everything about the retreat worked quite perfectly.
I think I've pretty much shared with most everyone (including my tutor students today) what I learned at the retreat, but I shall share again for... well, Charlotte because she's far away. The main thing I learned was that I need to just make a plan and go for it. So many times, I'm affected and bogged down by people's expectations of me. I realized I just need to let go of all that, do my best in what's before me now (tutoring) and go on with my plan for the future. If it's not God's will, it won't happen. Overall, I feel at peace and delighted about what is to come. I was also reminded of the fact that I need to constantly be pursuing holiness by practicing spiritual disciplines. The main lesson for me was: live a holy life.
Some of the highlights from the retreat:
I think I've pretty much shared with most everyone (including my tutor students today) what I learned at the retreat, but I shall share again for... well, Charlotte because she's far away. The main thing I learned was that I need to just make a plan and go for it. So many times, I'm affected and bogged down by people's expectations of me. I realized I just need to let go of all that, do my best in what's before me now (tutoring) and go on with my plan for the future. If it's not God's will, it won't happen. Overall, I feel at peace and delighted about what is to come. I was also reminded of the fact that I need to constantly be pursuing holiness by practicing spiritual disciplines. The main lesson for me was: live a holy life.
Some of the highlights from the retreat:
- Happy Hour with Sharon and Debbie. I heart them.
- Sleeping next to Hyojungee and talking about how we're doing these days. It was really an encouraging time. Thanks Dee.
- Times of prayer.
- Pray Around the World: it was long, but I thought it was necessary and good.
- Morning Q.T./journaling time
- I saw my first shooting star!!! I can still imagine it in my mind. I was so excited I didn't even get to make a wish. Oh well...
I can't seem to think so clearly right now because my head feels a bit full of snot (?). Oh, but even me being sick during the retreat, I think it was a good thing because it forced me to REALLY focus during the sermons. Otherwise, I think I would have thought about other things because my thoughts have a way of going berserk and weaving this web of random thoughts. However, since I was sick, I kept telling myself to focus on the sermon so I wouldn't focus on my headache or throat.
Anywho, it was a blessed time. I don't think I truly related everything clearly because I'm finding it difficult to concentrate at this time, but I wanted to blog before I forgot anything. So maybe later, I shall go into better detail and not make grammatical or spelling errors. I apologize for all you grammatical/spelling OCD-ers - I'm not going to proof-read. Oh, maybe I should... Hmmm... no. I'm going to read instead.
5.9.05
Nannyness
(thanks Michael for the title)
Some random thoughts of mine at 2 in the morning:
Some random thoughts of mine at 2 in the morning:
- The Constant Gardener: It reminded me a lot of South Africa. I was sad for a while, but now I'm trying to focus on the hope and love I saw and experienced there. I need to pray for Africa more. It breaks my heart so... how sad God must be... Hopefully, prayers will soothe.
- It's very uncomfortable to talk on the phone AND type at the same time. argh.
- I wish I was in 1963 flowers in my hair, little bitty hearts upon my cheek
- I want to play ping pong.
- I'm starting my nanny job this week. We'll see how that turns out. So far, I'm actually quite excited for it. I think it's a perfect opportunity to REALLY help Minsoo practice good studying habits.
- The Indian food I ate earlier was so spicy. I don't have any serious problems (yet).
- I haven't taken photos in a long time. I miss it.
- It would be neat to be able to "load" a whole bunch of books into my brain, especially the Bible. Talk about wisdom... Hmmmm... this is coming mighty close to teleportation on my impossible-things-i-think-about list.
- I haven't been to an art museum since London. Perhaps I shall check out the Basquiat exhibit at MOCA this week. Anyone want to go?
- I wish I could be more bold.
- I need to guard my heart more; actually, I need to rely on God to guard my heart and mind.
- I should sleep.
2.9.05
Grace
Grace
She takes the blame
She covers the shame
Removes the stain
It could be her name
Grace
It's a name for a girl
It's also a thought that
Changed the world
And when she walks on the street
You can hear the strings
Grace finds goodness
In everything
Grace
She's got the walk
Not on a ramp or on chalk
She's got the time to talk
She travels outside
Of karma, karma
She travels outside
Of karma
When she goes to work
You can hear the strings
Grace finds beauty
In everything
Grace
She carries a world on her hips
No champagne flute for her lips
No twirls or skips
Between her fingertips
She carries a pearl
In perfect condition
What once was hurt
What once was friction
What left a mark
No longer stings
Because grace makes beauty
Out of ugly things
Grace finds beauty
In everything
Grace finds goodness
In everything
1.9.05
can't sleep
It's way past my bedtime and I'm not tired at all. Why oh why?!
Oh...
I had a latte earlier.
Perhaps I shall read. Reading takes me into another realm where anything and everything is possible. I believe it's my way of flying without really flying.
I'm really getting into my book (Anna Karenina). I'm thoroughly enjoying Leo Tolstoy. I wish I could have met him, been his friend, or shaken his hand. The book is making me think about human relationships, love and of course, life. It's amazing. I'm about 300 pages into the book (I still have 515 more pages to go... it's the book that keeps giving) and not a whole lot has happened, yet Tolstoy's display of interwoven lives is so captivating. There is a conflict, but people don't just get swept away in it. They still meet up with their friends and live out the banalities of life. Although there are quite a few dramatic moments (where I put an exclamation point in the margin because I'm so shocked), I feel that the book reflects true moments of shame, embarrassment, joy, love. Tolstoy also mentions the soul quite often. I like that. It feels as if I'm getting to know the core of the character's being when he describes his/her soul. It's what I desire to know most - souls.
"I know his soul, and I know that we resemble each other."
I read Philippians today and it was quite encouraging. Once again, I realize I just need to pray more and worry less. For Paul, to live was Christ, to die was gain. I wonder... what does it mean for me to live?
To live is travel. To live is read. To live is watch movies. To live is listen to music. To live is spend time with uhma and friends.
"To live is Christ..."
I want to live.
Oh...
I had a latte earlier.
Perhaps I shall read. Reading takes me into another realm where anything and everything is possible. I believe it's my way of flying without really flying.
I'm really getting into my book (Anna Karenina). I'm thoroughly enjoying Leo Tolstoy. I wish I could have met him, been his friend, or shaken his hand. The book is making me think about human relationships, love and of course, life. It's amazing. I'm about 300 pages into the book (I still have 515 more pages to go... it's the book that keeps giving) and not a whole lot has happened, yet Tolstoy's display of interwoven lives is so captivating. There is a conflict, but people don't just get swept away in it. They still meet up with their friends and live out the banalities of life. Although there are quite a few dramatic moments (where I put an exclamation point in the margin because I'm so shocked), I feel that the book reflects true moments of shame, embarrassment, joy, love. Tolstoy also mentions the soul quite often. I like that. It feels as if I'm getting to know the core of the character's being when he describes his/her soul. It's what I desire to know most - souls.
"I know his soul, and I know that we resemble each other."
I read Philippians today and it was quite encouraging. Once again, I realize I just need to pray more and worry less. For Paul, to live was Christ, to die was gain. I wonder... what does it mean for me to live?
To live is travel. To live is read. To live is watch movies. To live is listen to music. To live is spend time with uhma and friends.
"To live is Christ..."
I want to live.
30.8.05
22.8.05
Drained Full
It was a tiring, challenging weekend. I'm waiting for everything to marinate in my mind. I do know that I want to have a bigger heart - a bigger heart to love, to forgive, to impact. For this, I shall pray.
Things that made me happy at retreat:
Things that made me happy at retreat:
- small group: I fell in love with my small group. Donbi and I clicked in a unique way. We both look at people on the freeway and wonder where they're going, who they are, why they're driving that particular car, or why they're wearing those clothes. We end up thinking of detailed life stories for these people we have never met. Then we think about the fact that all these people probably have families. We feel overwhelmed and our minds just crash. We blame books for our overly active imagination and the fact that we're obsessed with stories. The girls were all amazing. As they shared, I learned so much from them. I can't wait to see how God is going to work through them to reveal Himself.
- morning prayer: There's something so refreshing and perfect about starting the day in prayer. Must do this more often.
- free time naps: So yummy.
- Johny singing "Sitting, Waiting, Wishing" to me while I was sleeping. When I woke up, I thought it was in my dream, but later found out that it really happened. It's so strange; I even remember his voice: "This song is for Grace Liu." I woke up feeling so warm and comforted inside.
- heart to heart with Dan. Always so comfortable. Thanks pal.
- falling asleep listening to Chopin (well, this is always... but I ESPECIALLY enjoy it after a long day). By the way, thanks Paul for the sleeping bag. I truly appreciated it.
- hanging out with JiSoo and watching Ed take care of his little sister so lovingly.
- watching the students praise their hearts out
I hope we made God happy.
15.8.05
Where's Your Walden?
the beach for me. It's thought-provoking and makes me happy.
Mon's dream place is Walden (that Thoreau... he's so dreamy).
Mon: Yeah, I want a log cabin ... and a seadoo.
Grace: I'm not sure there was a seadoo in Walden. Aren't you supposed to be like finding yourself?
Mon: I'll find myself on my seadoo... Hey! It'll be Mon-den.
Mon's dream place is Walden (that Thoreau... he's so dreamy).
Mon: Yeah, I want a log cabin ... and a seadoo.
Grace: I'm not sure there was a seadoo in Walden. Aren't you supposed to be like finding yourself?
Mon: I'll find myself on my seadoo... Hey! It'll be Mon-den.
13.8.05
They Weren't There
You breathed infinity into my world
and time was lost up in a cloud and in a whirl.
We dug a hole in the cool grey earth and lay there for the night.
Then you said, "wait for me we'll fly the wind,
we'll grow old and you'll be stronger without him" but oh,
now my world is at your feet. I was lost and I was found,
but I was alive and now I've drowned.
So now I will be waiting for the world to hear my song
so they can tell me I was wrong...
But they weren't there beneath your stare,
and they weren't stripped 'till they were bare
of any bindings from the world outside that room.
And they weren't taken by the hand
and led through fields of naked land
where any pre-conceived ideas were blown away...
so I couldn't say "no".
You sighed and I was lost in you, weeks could've past for all I knew.
You were there blanket of the over-world and so I couldn't say,
I wouldn't say "no". But they all said, "you're too young to even know,
just don't let it grow and you'll be stronger without him"
but oh, now, my world is at your feet. I was lost and I was found,
but I was alive and now I've drowned.
So now I will be waiting for the world to hear my song
so they can tell me I was wrong...
But they weren't there beneath your stare,
and they weren't stripped 'till they were bare
of any bindings from the world outside that room.
And they weren't taken by the hand and led through fields
of naked land where any pre-conceived ideas were blown away...
so I couldn't say "no".
*sigh*
and time was lost up in a cloud and in a whirl.
We dug a hole in the cool grey earth and lay there for the night.
Then you said, "wait for me we'll fly the wind,
we'll grow old and you'll be stronger without him" but oh,
now my world is at your feet. I was lost and I was found,
but I was alive and now I've drowned.
So now I will be waiting for the world to hear my song
so they can tell me I was wrong...
But they weren't there beneath your stare,
and they weren't stripped 'till they were bare
of any bindings from the world outside that room.
And they weren't taken by the hand
and led through fields of naked land
where any pre-conceived ideas were blown away...
so I couldn't say "no".
You sighed and I was lost in you, weeks could've past for all I knew.
You were there blanket of the over-world and so I couldn't say,
I wouldn't say "no". But they all said, "you're too young to even know,
just don't let it grow and you'll be stronger without him"
but oh, now, my world is at your feet. I was lost and I was found,
but I was alive and now I've drowned.
So now I will be waiting for the world to hear my song
so they can tell me I was wrong...
But they weren't there beneath your stare,
and they weren't stripped 'till they were bare
of any bindings from the world outside that room.
And they weren't taken by the hand and led through fields
of naked land where any pre-conceived ideas were blown away...
so I couldn't say "no".
*sigh*
12.8.05
Things that look pretty from a little distance
. an island
. the backs of a parent and child holding hands
. a spiderweb
. the still reflection of a mountain on a lake
. tree leaves dancing to the rhythm of the breeze
. crashing waves
. a man playing the piano
. someone reading, writing, drawing
. the land of South Africa
. the sun's rays piercing its way through the clouds
. an act of love...
I wish I could get closer.
I wish I could just freeze time and stare. To just sit and immerse myself in beauty... hoping that I could just melt and become a new entity, actually that I would just be swept away by beauty and live as an abstract idea on the peripheral. That would be brilliant.
. the backs of a parent and child holding hands
. a spiderweb
. the still reflection of a mountain on a lake
. tree leaves dancing to the rhythm of the breeze
. crashing waves
. a man playing the piano
. someone reading, writing, drawing
. the land of South Africa
. the sun's rays piercing its way through the clouds
. an act of love...
I wish I could get closer.
I wish I could just freeze time and stare. To just sit and immerse myself in beauty... hoping that I could just melt and become a new entity, actually that I would just be swept away by beauty and live as an abstract idea on the peripheral. That would be brilliant.
4.8.05
Traffic
I went to the beach with Mon today. It was absolutely perfect. The water felt refreshing, the sun comforting and my worries and anxiety seemed to drift away with the breeze. These days, I seem to have lots of thoughts. This results in many collisions in my mind. I can't even journal. I think about it, but then I don't even know where to begin. I'm pretty sure I'll feel better and together once I journal, but yeah. I was planning on journaling once I went to the beach, but I ended up sleeping. It was the yummiest nap ever.
I was going to update, but there's too much traffic in my mind. Once it clears up, I'll write some more. For now, I want to enjoy this hollow, light feeling. It's a bit peculiar.
I was going to update, but there's too much traffic in my mind. Once it clears up, I'll write some more. For now, I want to enjoy this hollow, light feeling. It's a bit peculiar.
24.7.05
RL
I don't think I really live in reality. And I don't have an idea of what reality is. The past is but a vague memory, the future unknown and I don't really live in the present either. Where am I? I think I live in my thoughts.
Anywho, I'm a bit nervous and excited about this week. It feels good to feel prepared, but I still feel a bit uneasy about it all. Plus, I need to spend time in the Word no matter how busy I am. Seriously. I'm starving.
It's a nice, cool night now. It makes me want to go to the beach and stare closely at the waves crashing. I like being mesmerized by the glowing white foam that gathers with each roaring wave.
Anywho, I'm a bit nervous and excited about this week. It feels good to feel prepared, but I still feel a bit uneasy about it all. Plus, I need to spend time in the Word no matter how busy I am. Seriously. I'm starving.
It's a nice, cool night now. It makes me want to go to the beach and stare closely at the waves crashing. I like being mesmerized by the glowing white foam that gathers with each roaring wave.
17.7.05
Smile/Frown
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
wonderfully fantastic. Johnny Depp rocks my world. How/why is he so good? He makes me smile.
The Week Ahead
will be quite busy, but I suppose it's better to be busy than not (?), or that's something I keep trying to brainwash myself to believe. Anywho, I'm not too stressed 'cause it's all about taking it one day at a time. I just wish I didn't look/feel so tired; it's quite embarassing and I feel bad. Every time I go tutor Minsoo, he says I always look tired. I feel bad about it. I even try to look extra energetic before tutoring. I take about 5 deep breaths, pat my cheeks three times, then let out a nice, "ok, here we go." before I go inside to tutor. But as soon as I see him, the moment he says, "Whoa, you look tired," I feel uber dumb for doing what I just did in the car... all for nothing. This makes me frown. But this week, I don't think I'll be as tired. I had a relaxing weekend.
I heart Coldplay.
So, I've been binging on Coldplay these days (of course, this makes me smile). I haven't bought the new album yet 'cause I don't want to be disappointed. How can you really get any better than the previous albums? Plus, I think Gwyneth has tainted the creative mind of Chris; this makes me frown.
Rewind
Have you ever wished you could turn back time or that you could have the remote control for life. I recently was reminded of this. When I was a kid, I used to always imagine what it would be like if I could rewind, fast forward, or pause life. I can still vividly remember the images in my mind. It's quite strange being that I have an awful memory. How do I remember stuff like that? The imagination is fun. 100 cool points for God for thinking of that one. I smile.
let’s go back to the start
wonderfully fantastic. Johnny Depp rocks my world. How/why is he so good? He makes me smile.
The Week Ahead
will be quite busy, but I suppose it's better to be busy than not (?), or that's something I keep trying to brainwash myself to believe. Anywho, I'm not too stressed 'cause it's all about taking it one day at a time. I just wish I didn't look/feel so tired; it's quite embarassing and I feel bad. Every time I go tutor Minsoo, he says I always look tired. I feel bad about it. I even try to look extra energetic before tutoring. I take about 5 deep breaths, pat my cheeks three times, then let out a nice, "ok, here we go." before I go inside to tutor. But as soon as I see him, the moment he says, "Whoa, you look tired," I feel uber dumb for doing what I just did in the car... all for nothing. This makes me frown. But this week, I don't think I'll be as tired. I had a relaxing weekend.
I heart Coldplay.
So, I've been binging on Coldplay these days (of course, this makes me smile). I haven't bought the new album yet 'cause I don't want to be disappointed. How can you really get any better than the previous albums? Plus, I think Gwyneth has tainted the creative mind of Chris; this makes me frown.
Rewind
Have you ever wished you could turn back time or that you could have the remote control for life. I recently was reminded of this. When I was a kid, I used to always imagine what it would be like if I could rewind, fast forward, or pause life. I can still vividly remember the images in my mind. It's quite strange being that I have an awful memory. How do I remember stuff like that? The imagination is fun. 100 cool points for God for thinking of that one. I smile.
let’s go back to the start
15.7.05
A Moment to Think
I'm home-home today. I feel uber relaxed and quite happy. Last night, Ames and I chatted for a little bit and she asked if I had a drink 'cause i sounded so relaxed. It's nice to be home-home and not have any tutoring (my tutoring got cancelled today). Today is a day of mellowness. I want to go to the beach.
Fullerton Tutors
It's definitely been a challenge trying to balance what the parents want for their kids, what the place wants for the kids and what I think they should learn before going back to school. I finally broke down this week. Thanks Andy, Paul and Ames for dealing with my break down and encouraging me. The last two days this week post-break-down were good. I'm falling for some of the kids. We play a question game in my 4/5 combo class where they pick a question from a bag and answer it. Vanesa blew me away.
Vanesa's question: If you could trade places with someone for a day, who would you trade places with?
Vanesa: a blind person.
Me: huh? what? why? (most kids choose the president or teachers so they could make homework illegal)
Vanesa: so that person could see for a day.
I seriously had to hold back the tears. The next day she insisted that she sit in between my two punks so they wouldn't be able to talk as much. It made a huge difference. Thank you Vanesa.
The kids look so cute when they're so quiet and studying hard. I just stare at them and want to hug them.
Small Group
A few of us met up for dinner on Wednesday to plan things out. It was quite an encouraging time talking about how we're all doing spiritually. I realize that I really need to work on being joyful at all times instead of being so swayed by circumstances.
Job Hunt
I'm not as stressed out about finding a job these days. I realize that it doesn't help any to worry about it. I've prayed about it a lot more, which I think helps. I keep having to remind myself that God is the one in control and he's the ultimate planner, so I just need to let go. I like to plan, but God is much better at it than I am. I was talking to Mira SMN about it and she said, 'You know Grace, God loves it when you're unsure of the future and feeling uneasy 'cause that's when he can really show you how powerful he is... You'll know for sure that it's all Him and not you.' I look forward to that.
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
comes out today!!! I'm uber excited. I re-read the book this week and it was so fun. I was excited before for it, but now I really can't wait to see it.
Overall
feeling good. I was feeling overwhelmed this week, but I think it'll be okay. A challenging couple of weeks ahead. But what will help me through? The Word, prayer, friends and my ipod.
Nothing is more powerful than beauty in a wicked world.
I want to see the beauty.
Fullerton Tutors
It's definitely been a challenge trying to balance what the parents want for their kids, what the place wants for the kids and what I think they should learn before going back to school. I finally broke down this week. Thanks Andy, Paul and Ames for dealing with my break down and encouraging me. The last two days this week post-break-down were good. I'm falling for some of the kids. We play a question game in my 4/5 combo class where they pick a question from a bag and answer it. Vanesa blew me away.
Vanesa's question: If you could trade places with someone for a day, who would you trade places with?
Vanesa: a blind person.
Me: huh? what? why? (most kids choose the president or teachers so they could make homework illegal)
Vanesa: so that person could see for a day.
I seriously had to hold back the tears. The next day she insisted that she sit in between my two punks so they wouldn't be able to talk as much. It made a huge difference. Thank you Vanesa.
The kids look so cute when they're so quiet and studying hard. I just stare at them and want to hug them.
Small Group
A few of us met up for dinner on Wednesday to plan things out. It was quite an encouraging time talking about how we're all doing spiritually. I realize that I really need to work on being joyful at all times instead of being so swayed by circumstances.
Job Hunt
I'm not as stressed out about finding a job these days. I realize that it doesn't help any to worry about it. I've prayed about it a lot more, which I think helps. I keep having to remind myself that God is the one in control and he's the ultimate planner, so I just need to let go. I like to plan, but God is much better at it than I am. I was talking to Mira SMN about it and she said, 'You know Grace, God loves it when you're unsure of the future and feeling uneasy 'cause that's when he can really show you how powerful he is... You'll know for sure that it's all Him and not you.' I look forward to that.
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
comes out today!!! I'm uber excited. I re-read the book this week and it was so fun. I was excited before for it, but now I really can't wait to see it.
Overall
feeling good. I was feeling overwhelmed this week, but I think it'll be okay. A challenging couple of weeks ahead. But what will help me through? The Word, prayer, friends and my ipod.
Nothing is more powerful than beauty in a wicked world.
I want to see the beauty.
8.7.05
London Attacks
It sends chills up my spine. Both of the attack locations were places I frequented at least once a day. As I watch the news and see places I recognize... an eerie feeling comes over me. It scares me.
7.7.05
Nightminds
Just lay it all down. Put your face into my neck and let it fall out.
I know
I know
I know.
I knew before you got home.
This world you're in now,
it doesn't have to be alone,
I'll get there somehow,
'cause
I know I know I know
when, even springtime feels cold.
But I will learn to breathe this ugliness you see,
so we can both be there and we can both share the dark.
And in our honesty, together we will rise,
out of our nightminds,
and into the light at the end of the fight...
You were blessed by a different kind of inner view: it's all magnified.
The highs would make you fly, and the lows make you want to die.
And I was once there, hanging from that very ledge where you are standing.
So I know
I know
I know, it's easier to let go.
But I will learn to breathe this ugliness you see,
so we can both be there and we can both share the dark.
And in our honesty, together we will rise out of our nightminds
and into the light at the end of the fight.
...and in our honesty, together we will rise out of our nightminds and into the light... at the end of the fight...
I know
I know
I know.
I knew before you got home.
This world you're in now,
it doesn't have to be alone,
I'll get there somehow,
'cause
I know I know I know
when, even springtime feels cold.
But I will learn to breathe this ugliness you see,
so we can both be there and we can both share the dark.
And in our honesty, together we will rise,
out of our nightminds,
and into the light at the end of the fight...
You were blessed by a different kind of inner view: it's all magnified.
The highs would make you fly, and the lows make you want to die.
And I was once there, hanging from that very ledge where you are standing.
So I know
I know
I know, it's easier to let go.
But I will learn to breathe this ugliness you see,
so we can both be there and we can both share the dark.
And in our honesty, together we will rise out of our nightminds
and into the light at the end of the fight.
...and in our honesty, together we will rise out of our nightminds and into the light... at the end of the fight...
5.7.05
We're All Crazy
We only vary in extent and type.
I didn't go to Fullerton Tutors today because the cold finally hit me and basically kicked my arse yesterday. Today, I felt much better but not well enough to go teach the little terrors, I mean, students. I think my problem yesterday was that I quarantined myself in a room and was in bed all day long. I feel as if that made me feel worse, so today I decided to spend a day out just taking it easy.
Mon and I met up for lunch. It was such a pleasant time of talking, eating and enjoying our 'faux nature'. We sat outside where we were surrounded by glass and clear tarps to protect us from bugs and other flying things, but we could see the nice pond below and feel a nice cool breeze from the fan above. After lunch, we discovered a Dippin' Dots store. It was so delightful. Something about eating those little dots ... it's so pleasant. It was the perfect day out.
Okay, I'm going to bring it up again... So I was thinking a bit more deeply about teleportation today and wondered whether there would be air molecule traffic. Could there be collisions too? Hmmm... I wonder... I've only thought about the benefits: decreased air pollution, convenience, etc. It sort of scared me to think about the possible dangers and negative consequences. And what about all those people who work for the car industry? But we would rely less on oil. Hmm, I'm going to have to think this out more fully.
Quote of the day: "Grace, Jesus loves you so much that when you get to heaven, he'll probably have your name in a special color 'cause you like things color-coded." - Monica Morales.
This makes me smile. :)
I heart you Mon.
I didn't go to Fullerton Tutors today because the cold finally hit me and basically kicked my arse yesterday. Today, I felt much better but not well enough to go teach the little terrors, I mean, students. I think my problem yesterday was that I quarantined myself in a room and was in bed all day long. I feel as if that made me feel worse, so today I decided to spend a day out just taking it easy.
Mon and I met up for lunch. It was such a pleasant time of talking, eating and enjoying our 'faux nature'. We sat outside where we were surrounded by glass and clear tarps to protect us from bugs and other flying things, but we could see the nice pond below and feel a nice cool breeze from the fan above. After lunch, we discovered a Dippin' Dots store. It was so delightful. Something about eating those little dots ... it's so pleasant. It was the perfect day out.
Okay, I'm going to bring it up again... So I was thinking a bit more deeply about teleportation today and wondered whether there would be air molecule traffic. Could there be collisions too? Hmmm... I wonder... I've only thought about the benefits: decreased air pollution, convenience, etc. It sort of scared me to think about the possible dangers and negative consequences. And what about all those people who work for the car industry? But we would rely less on oil. Hmm, I'm going to have to think this out more fully.
Quote of the day: "Grace, Jesus loves you so much that when you get to heaven, he'll probably have your name in a special color 'cause you like things color-coded." - Monica Morales.
This makes me smile. :)
I heart you Mon.
2.7.05
Scratchy Throat, I Hate
My throat is being quite annoying. I don't know what I ever did to make it pissed off at me. I don't even drink soda because it hurts my throat. It might have been the speaking above my normal speaking voice at the tutor place (now that I think about it). Anywho, it'll be nice when this scratchiness goes away.
On a happy note, Monday is a holiday which means no tutoring place. Hoorah! I started tutoring two of Minsoo's friends on Friday. They're so cute. A couple of big boys who are going to be 9th graders in the fall. They like to read and they listen so intently. I like so far. Plus, Minsoo's been doing his homework and he's actually getting into the book I'm having him read. It makes me smile. :) I subtly brainwash him with my 'you have to be skeptical of politicians' using the characters in Animal Farm.
I want to go to the beach. I daydreamed about it often today.
Speaking of daydream (I think I've mentioned this before), I think about the wonders of teleportation at least once a day. Amy says I need to live in reality. But today, I thought about how neat it would be if you could hold hands in a line and be teleported in a wave. It makes me giggle when I imagine it... one person at a time disappearing and appearing in a wave.
On a happy note, Monday is a holiday which means no tutoring place. Hoorah! I started tutoring two of Minsoo's friends on Friday. They're so cute. A couple of big boys who are going to be 9th graders in the fall. They like to read and they listen so intently. I like so far. Plus, Minsoo's been doing his homework and he's actually getting into the book I'm having him read. It makes me smile. :) I subtly brainwash him with my 'you have to be skeptical of politicians' using the characters in Animal Farm.
I want to go to the beach. I daydreamed about it often today.
Speaking of daydream (I think I've mentioned this before), I think about the wonders of teleportation at least once a day. Amy says I need to live in reality. But today, I thought about how neat it would be if you could hold hands in a line and be teleported in a wave. It makes me giggle when I imagine it... one person at a time disappearing and appearing in a wave.
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