Amidst Business

I got a job at this tutoring place and it's week one. It's been a bit of a challenge because I'm not used to tutoring 7 kids at one time, plus they're elementary school students. I realize that I don't EVER want to be an elementary school teacher. How do they do it?! Oh, the little terrors. But within the three hours I spend with them, I get to know them and experience momentary glimpses into their minds and souls. Those are the moments worth the hours of lesson planning and commuting. I know that this is the task before me now and I should do my best. As I drive to work, I get uber motivated and excited about the day. But by the end of the three hours, I leave work with a headache. I feel inadequate and know that I haven't done my best because I'm just not passionate about math. It's all physically draining for now, but I'm sure there is a lesson to be learned and I can't wait to discover that...

Speaking of what is to come, I had lunch with Diane today and realized that I think about the future a lot. I've been this way my entire life - always thinking of the future. I look forward to growing old, experiencing more, learning everyday and gaining wisdom through it all. Being happy in the 'now' or even thinking about the 'now' is something I struggle with. Even when I do think about the 'now', it's in relation to the future. I've always just thought that there is so much more in the future. I think I need to retouch upon the 'being joyful in all circumstances' lesson.

Have Internet

As Dan mentioned in his nice comment, I do now have internet, so here I am posting. Hmm... where to begin...

Some random points, happenings, thoughts I've had since my last post:

• I feel that I've had my share of graduations to hold me over until next year, possibly the next. (Thank you to everyone who came to mine even though it was quite hot)
  
• I like pulling grass and the feeling when a piece of grass comes out perfectly smooth (without being torn - do you know what I mean?). It feels refreshing.
  
• I feel overwhelmed with having to figure out what I'm supposed to with the rest of my life. I'm getting tired of parents telling me to go to law school or be a teacher (because that's the best job for a girl).
• Hmm, I feel a lot.
• I heart Amos Lee. He makes me want to cry (in a good way).
• Ecclesiastes was a depressing book to read; at least the end was to the point.
  
• It's quite hot in Lake Elsinore.
• People think they're in their living rooms when they go to the cinema in the Inland Empire. Mon and I watched Mr. & Mrs. Smith. The two people on Mon's left kept repeating lines. The family of three on my left laughed hysterically at EVERYTHING, which led to snorting at times. The family also proceeded to add their own commentary and read signs out loud. Mon and I were blown away; by the end we just laughed.
• I need to get a job (Charlotte: background chorus please).
  

Well, I can't think of anything else to write for now. I'm sorry it's nothing fantastic or profound. Perhaps I need to get back in the hang of blogging.

For now, let's be happy that we all exist and smile about the little joys that come our way.

No Internet

:(

I just thought I should let my ..oh.. 3 readers know that I am alive, well and intend to continue blogging once I get internet in my humble home in the IE. Mid-June my friends.

'Til then, look up at the sky, close your eyes, enjoy the sun's orange glow in your eyes and smile.

Back to the Nest

I can't believe I'm going home tomorrow, today. It's quite surreal. A good part of the day was spent finishing up the doc - tweaked around with the sound, etc.

Then Joe, our boss, came over and cooked dinner for us. Yummy fajitas - it was a good prep food for going home. Plus, I got to make the guacamole. Can you believe it?! It's insane - Ming took pictures because it was shocking to see me cooking. It was a nice dinner.

I'm a bit tired right now, but still feeling unsettled in my mind. I think once I get on the plane, I'll be able to unwind and relax. I can't wait to drink tea from my new neato thermos. Maybe I'll be sitting next to a nice neighbor and I can share it with him/her.

Time to fly back to the nest...

Kisses

Today was a full day. Ming and I woke up early, packed lunches and went over to Camden to do some last-minute shopping. Then we went over to Hyde Park and had our picnic. It was a gloriously lovely day. Clear skies, cool light breeze, the sun kissing my skin. Simply delightful. The flowers were so pretty and we found an amazing tree where the branches enveloped us inside.

Afterwards, I went over to Tate Modern (my happy place) by myself. I sat in front of 'my Pollock' (Summertime) for an hour and just stared. Today, the gray strokes jumped out at me. They don't seem to make sense, but add to the painting. They add depth, intensity and passion. I want to be the gray strokes. I've been feeling so frazzled these days with trying to get things together before I leave, finishing the doc and facing the reality of graduation, the uncertainty of the future. It's a bit ironic how such a 'chaotic' painting can bring me such peace and refreshment. It kisses my spirit.

After a good refreshed time at Tate Modern, I went over to Leicester Square for the premiere of Kingdom of Heaven. Liz was going to be there, so I was going to meet up with her. But I ended up just hanging by myself behind these two really cute junior high girls who brought flowers for Orlando Bloom. After waiting for a while, he came. It was absolute mayhem. He was so nice to go around to all the fans even though his publicists were telling him he had to go inside. Orlando. He's quite a good-lookin' fella. The girls in front of me gave him the flowers and he was quite touched. He gave the girls kisses on their cheeks and they nearly died.

Content

I went to Westminster Abbey today for the sung eucharist. It was different from St. Paul's, but I liked it. The sermon was about environmental protection!!! Uber rad! (Okay, sorry about the overload on exclamation points, but I really am expressing my excitement) He talked about how with the general election coming up here, green issues get swept under the rug and how that's not right. He encouraged everyone to not just sit back and wait for the world to change, but to actually do something about it at an individual level (it really related to what we talked about yesterday Ames). It was the perfect last message to hear before leaving, facing graduation.

Afterwards, I met up with Ming at Camden (a street market - a bit more alternative than Portobello). It was fun watching and assisting Ming with her jewelry shopping. I bought a few scarves for gifts (and for myself) and I finally got this polka-dot shirt I've been wanting since the first time I went to Camden. There was a Korean man running one of the booths. It was nice to speak Korean.

I think it's sad that I spend my entire paycheck - an entire week's worth of work - in a weekend. About a quarter of it went to tea, yes tea. I'm crazy.

Well, I'm nearly all packed. It's a strange, surreal feeling to think I'll be coming home in a couple of days. Oh my goodness - a couple of days!!! I'm excited to see everyone and especially my mommy. I really missed her. We sent cards to each other throughout my time here, so that's been fun. She said she has a "London corner" where she has pictures, postcards, bookmarks, and cards I've sent her. That makes me smile.

I'll Never Break Your Heart

Moment of the day: Ming and Liz singing their little hearts out to Backstreet Boys and even harmonizing, singing the "improv" lines and "mmm"s. Priceless.

Well we're still not done with the doc, but Ming Ming got so much done today. She rocks at this editing thing. I suck at it. I keep messing things up. After work and going over to school, we treated ourselves to Thai food. It was quite yummy.

It saddens me that tomorrow will be my last Saturday at Portobello. Ming Ming and I are finally going to do our Asian tourists act tomorrow, I think. Since everyone assumes we're Japanese tourists, might as well have fun with it. I'm expecting lots of foberrific pictures - I probably won't post those online.

(oh my gosh I can't even type right now - the Backstreet Boys sing-a-long is hilarious)

Anywho, things I want to do this weekend:
- buy bone china for my mommy and her friends
- finish the National Gallery - I have one wing left! Saved the best for last!
- eat Indian food
- take one last trip to Tate Modern and sit in front of "my Pollock" for a couple of hours (perhaps try to take a picture of it - risk getting kicked out)
- go to Westminster Abbey for service and listen to the boys choir
- hmm, can't think of anything else, any suggestions?
- perhaps just enjoy London
- try to get some color, so I don't look as sickly when I go back home. I'm as pale as a ghost.

tired

.

Delirium

- "Grace, there's only so much you can pick!" - Nancy on me picking my cigarette but scab.
Good news: what I thought was a scar is a scab, so now that I've picked at it, I just have a bald spot on my arm.

- "It should actually be quite miserable by Thursday." - weather forecaster on the weather in London. I can't believe she said this with a smile and cheery tone.

- "I'm so over it!" - all of us on our journalism projects.

Soul Food

I went to Maurizio Pollini's Chopin concert Sunday. I truly nearly cried tears of joy. I can't believe I was there, so close. *sigh* Pollini was flippin' brilliant. He played with such expressivness. That hall was not big enough for the emotions of that man. He would look up to the sky at times and take these deep breaths as if he were inhaling the notes that were exuding from the open grand piano before him. As he was playing, I could hear him breathing deeply and see him closing his eyes so tightly at times hunched over the keys. He would use his right foot to push the pedal and his left foot would shuffle back and forth, sometimes pressing so hard to the ground that he would slightly rise from the seat. I liked how he hummed and mumbled as he played - it was neat how I could hear him singing along to what he was playing. He basically took my breath away. I was mesmerized for three hours. At the end, he received a standing-o and played FOUR encores. It was amazing - especially the last two pieces - he was so just there! He played with such intensity and precision.

Well, I could go on and on... but I'll just leave it at that. What can I say? I heart Chopin and now I heart Pollini. He seemed like such a nice, modest man.

Grey

I have a feeling this is going to be a song I will be obsessed with:

The sky is grey
The sand is grey
And the ocean is grey

And i feel right at home
In this stunning monochrome
Alone in my way

I smoke and i drink
And every time i blink
I have a tiny dream

But as bad as i am
I'm proud of the fact
That i'm worse than I seem

What kind of paradise am I looking for?
I've got everything i want and still I want more
Maybe some tiny shiny key
Will wash up on the shore

You walk through my walls
Like a ghost on tv
You penetrate me

And my little pink heart
Is on its little brown raft
Floating out to sea

And what can i say
But I'm wired this way
And you're wired to me

And what can i do
But wallow in you
Unintentionally
What kind of paradise am I looking for?
I've got everything I want and still I want more
Maybe some tiny shiny key
Will wash up on the shore

Regretfully
I guess I've only got three
Simple things to say:
Why me?
Why this now?
Why this way?
With overtones ringing
And undertows pulling away
Under a sky that is grey
On sand that is grey
By an ocean that's grey

What kind of paradise am i looking for?
I've got everything I want
And still I want more
Maybe some tiny shiny key
Will wash up on the shore

Food

Foods I will eat as soon as I get back:
1. King Taco burrito
2. Ggo-lee-gom-tang
3. Good sushi
4. Shik-do-rak
5. In-N-Out Cheeseburger w/o meat
6. basically most Korean food
7. Smoothie!!!
8. Fruits and Vegetables (they're so expensive here - all I basically eat here are carbs.. LOTS of bread/pasta)
9. Tofu, lots of it.

Foods I will miss when I get back:
1. CRUMPETS! Oh, my love.
2. Chicken sandwich from the Kebab place across the street
3. nutella (I know we have it in the States, but I like leaving it as a Europe thing - for some reason, I only eat it obsessively when I'm in Europe)
4. yummy teas

Random Thoughts

1. So I'm super jealous of Ming because she finally got to eat one of the sandwiches we make at work. I have still not eaten a Gazzano's sandwich. I must confess that I have actually had to really stop myself THREE times from just biting into one of the sandwiches I've made. Ming says we can call it the "Grace special" - a Gazzano's sandwich with a nice bite mark. Can you believe I make 8 dollar sandwiches? Can you believe people buy 8 dollar sandwiches for lunch? Then have a 3 dollar latte. By the way, I learned how to use the espresso machine today. It was so much fun. I can't wait to own one of my own.

Working at Gazzano's makes me use my left hand more. I like it. I feel much more efficient.

2. Something is so wrong when Ming and I are sitting right in front of each other and IMing, while she's talking through the internet with a friend back home. Hi Will!

3. I hate dreams that involve airplanes, airports, traveling, etc. They bite.

4. I like dreams about people who make me happy.

5. But who is she?!

6. Good grief.

Speed of Sound

how long before I get in
before it starts, before I begin
how long before we decide
before I know what it feels like
where do, where do I go
if you never tried then you'll never know
how long do I have to climb
up on this side of this mountain of mine

look up, I look up at night
planets are moving at the speed of light
come up, up in the trees
every chance that you get
is a chance you seize
how long I can stand
with my head stuck under the sand
I start before I can stop
before I say things that I made up

and all that noise, all that sound
all these pieces that I have found
and the earth is gone flying at the speed of sound
to show how it all began
birds come flying from the underground
if you could see it then you'd understand

ideas that you'll never find
all the inventors could never design
all the buildings that you put up
Japan and China were all lit up
the first sign that I couldn't read
all the land that I couldn't see
somethings you have to believe
but others are puzzles, puzzling me

and all that noise, all that sound
all those pieces that I have found
and the earth is gone flying at the speed of sound
to show how it all began
birds come flying from the underground
if you could see it then you'd understand

all those signs I knew what they meant
somethings you can't invent
something... something...

words go flying at the speed of sound
to show how it all began
birds came flying from the underground
if you could see it then you'd understand
oh, when you see it then you'll understand

i heart coldplay.

Lab Rat

Good grief. My brain feels tired. I spent four hours of my day transcribing a 20-minute interview verbatim - it's physically draining to listen so intently for four hours, rewinding, relistening, etc. Plus, I've had way too much stimulation the last 24 hours. I feel like a lab rat - those poor things.

We had an interview this morning with a health official. She was super nice and quite helpful. She cycles 5 miles to an underground station, then rides the train to work to be environmentally sound. She rocks my world.

Then on the way home, Ming and I took a cab (my first time) to get some thoughts about the new green tax (it's a 20p = 40 cents surcharge to every cab fare that goes towards making taxis more environmentally friendly). First, we tried to ask this guy if we could interview him on the way home and he said no, drove off. So we decided we just had to wing it. We got in a cab, pretended like we were American tourists, which isn't very hard to do.

Ming: So, I heard that you guys are starting this green tax thing? Have they started that yet?
Cab driver: Oh yeah, they started that this month.
(He proceeds to go on and rant about how useless it is)
Ming and I chime in every so often with our American-ness: What? 20p? That's like 40 cents! What's the government doing? Wow, it's gonna take a lot of 20p's to fix the environment.

Meanwhile, I'm taping the entire thing. He didn't say anything because he probably assumed I was taping anything and everything because I'm an American tourist. So he dropped us off near our flat, but didn't know exactly where our little street was, so he offered to show us a map, but we said we would just ask around. So yeah, I feel that it's a bit unethical; but I shall share the truth with you all - my friends who will not judge me (minus you, yes you).

I have to get this project done! It's really stressing me out - can't sleep, no appetite, the usual symptoms of stress. It's all good though - we'll get this baby done by next week then it's relaxin' and finishing up my museums 'til I go home.

I practiced packing and everything fits. The only issue is carrying my ginormous bag that I've replaced my suitcase with. It's basically a huge shopping bag. Hmmm... gotta think about how I'm going to manage that.

*Sigh*

Today was a nice day. Just a simple nice day. I started out the day reading Proverbs, which is well, full of proverbs. Today, it was all about understanding and how with understanding comes wisdom.

Then, I worked on the doc for a little bit. Ming came back from Paris and we caught up on things. It's nice to have her back. :) We went to the South Bank Centre along the River Thames. She got tickets for the Chopin concert next Sunday, so now she can be my date. We spent a majority of our time browsing the outdoor bookstore along the Thames. It's quite a sight - a bunch of books on tables outside. It was a glorious sight. Oh, don't you worry - of course, I took pictures.

By the way, there were other people taking photos as well. They would take random pictures of people looking through the books and such. I thought it was neat. Then, I caught one man taking pictures of me. So I thought later on, I wonder how those pictures turned out. I wonder what he thinks as he looks at those photos - photos of strangers. Quite a mystery to me.

We came back, ate dinner, talked, did pilates (more laughed than actually exercise). We decided that we both needed to catch up in our journals. So we put the kettle on, made our cups o'tea, I turned on the Chopin and we journaled. It was nice to slouch, sink into the couch, sip my brown rice/green tea, while listening to Chopin and writing in my journal. The entry was quite random, sad at times, sappy, thoughtless and thoughtful at the same time. Ok, now I'm not making sense so that's my cue to sign out.

Off to go practice packing.

Yay!

"Just got paid, Friday night
Party hoppin', feelin right"

*wink, wink* Mon.

However, rather than 'party hoppin', I shall be doing some script writing. Hey, at least we got some interviews - one with a health official and another with a professor. The government official rejected me because it's election time here and things are a bit crazy. Boo. Oh well, I am still thankful for the two other ones.

Gazzano's

I started working downstairs at the deli that's below our flat. It's a cute place where they sell fresh bread, cheese, basil, etc. In the back is a sit-down place and a sandwich deli (that's where I'm based). Gazzano's is a family run place (I'm sure you can tell by the name that it's Italian).

Today was training day so I learned how to make the sandwiches and clean the place the way Joe wants it to be cleaned. He's a funny fella; quite a charming guy. But when it comes to cleaning, he's super anal. It cracks me up. Joe talked it up most of the day talking about girls, places he's visited, etc. It didn't even feel like work and the hours went by so quickly. Plus, I learned how to make yummy fancy sandwiches with ingredients I can't pronounce.

Hopefully, I can learn how to make all the coffee things soon because the espresso machine is absolutely beautiful. I've wanted my own espresso machine ever since my love affair with coffee began. I stare at the machine in awe.

I think I'm going to like working there. :)

It bites.

It's going to scar. Me with a cigarette butt burn on my arm. What the mother crazy?!

By the way, why do some people do it on purpose? Burn themselves with their cigarette butts? It hurts. I don't think it looks pretty.

Just Dandy

The evening first began with our ginormous and fancy feast that Ming cooked for our flat. It was fun watching and being her little helper around the kitchen. The meal was absolutely delicious.

We had some interesting conversation after dinner. We really went into detail in our discussion about amusement parks. It was a delightful evening.

But oh, it didn’t end there. So around 10, Ming wants to go out. So we decide to go to this place in Covent Garden that’s supposed to be really neat. Mandy and Sandy. Those were our aliases for the night. Mandy = me. Sandy = Ming. The place was quite neat – the vibe was more mellow than a regular club and the crowd was young because it was student night. Plus, the music was great at first. Then, it turned into the regular Euro-techno-crap. But then, it turned back around to hip-hop. Oh, but it wouldn’t be a club in London without some ‘Footloose’ and Earth, Wind and Fire. It’s amazing how everyone knows the lyrics to the cheesiest songs ever.

The night continues with Ming and I, I mean Sandy and I having a spectacular time just dancing. Various creepy guys approached us and we kept having to save each other (I’ll get back to them later). I just don’t enjoy dancing with guys. I’m more of a dance-by-myself kinda gal – maybe it’s the personal bubble space thing, I don’t know.

(‘Ow’ moment of the day: This girl smoking a cigarette burned my arm with her cigarette butt. It still hurts and is red. I hope it doesn’t scar. That would bite.)

Anywho, Ming had been eyeing this fellow throughout the night, so finally towards the end, I just went up to him and said, “Hey, give my friend a dance, yeah?” That simple. And Ming was a happy camper for the next half-hour or so. I proceeded to dance by myself which I didn’t mind at all because like I said, I like that. But then, the two creepy guys I had been avoiding the entire night approached me at the same time. On top of that, another creepy guy joined the crowd. I was sort of getting scared and feeling trapped.

Scenarios

Creepy guy #1: (starts dancing towards me) Dance, yeah?
Mandy: No, thank you.
CG#1: Aww, come on.
Mandy: I don’t think so.
CG#1: (grabs my arm) Come on, I know you want to.
Mandy: Mmmmm. NO. (ignores CG#1)

CG#2: (tries to hold my hand – this is a big NO NO… it’s the hand for goodness sake! That’s personal!!!)
Mandy: (pulls away quickly - I wanted to yell at him, "OH NO, YOU DIDN'T!!!")
CG#2: Come on, just hold my hand.
Mandy: No thanks (ignores.)

CG#3: (just keeps trying to dance with me)
Mandy: (just ignores)

So finally after the creepy men one by one were out of the scene, I met a guy who watched the scenario with CG#3. He thought we were together. So we both just laughed about it.. Then, the Latin/salsa music comes on (I totally thought of you Ames). And it was so much fun just dancing. It’s so hard to first, find a guy who can dance, second, find a guy who can dance to Latin music. So we had a great time; he respected my personal bubble space and it was strictly just dancing and spinning. He was quite a gentleman and just so much fun.

Towards the end, I was tired, so we sat down and had a conversation about where we were from, etc. He was born in Ethiopia, but raised in London. Finally, I asked him what his name was (it’s strange how that was one of the last things we talked about) – his name was Solomon. I should have given him my real name, but by this time, ‘Mandy’ was just rolling off my tongue. After I told him my alias, he just smiled and said, “That’s nice. I wanted to know. It’s nice to know” So I asked, “Why didn’t you just ask?” He says, “I didn’t want to. It’s nicer this way.” It was quite sweet, one of those cheesy movie moments.

Overall, a dandy evening.