Cluttered Thoughts

• the sun drains. I went to RJD (the men's prison near San Diego) again today. A bee landed on my shirt and I nearly freaked out. Julie (an analyst at the D.A.'s office) thought it was odd: You walk confidently around this place, talk to murderers, but you're scared of a bee. Julie reminds me a lot of Marianne. It's scary at times. She has an interesting perspective of me and what one should achieve in life.
• speaking of achievements in life. I was offered a public information position at the D.A.'s office. It's a long story, but basically, I'm not 100% sure I'm going to get it because I showed a lack of enthusiasm the first time it was offered to me. People in this office don't show much sympathy for those who actually have to think things through before making a decision. I feel torn because I know in my mind it's a great opportunity, but I couldn't help but freak out as Gail (the Communications Director) described the job to me. Scenes from The Devil Wears Prada flashed across my mind. At this point, I'll probably take the job if they still want me because it's a challenging and learning opportunity. I think I'm just tired of people telling me that this is the best opportunity that can come my way at this stage in my life and that I'm foolish for not being excited about it. I can't help it if this position doesn't make me giddy.
• I had a nice heart-to-heart with Jules after EM service on Sunday. It was nice and comfortable. I admire Julie's soft and warm heart.
• I like playing with Doojin. We had breakfast on Sunday. We can talk about nothing and everything.
• Johny was in Lake Elsinore on Saturday, so we played. It was neat and kind of strange hanging out with him in Lake Elsinore. I felt a little exposed and vulnerable. I drove him around the lake, Main St., my old schools and my old houses. It was odd driving around to my old houses because I never went back once I moved. I had mostly happy memories at some houses and really terrible memories at a particular house. As I stared at the house I hated, I felt overwhelmed by the events that took place in that house. I wonder who lives there now. Are they happy? I hope so. That house holds so many memories. Whenever I see or go inside an old house, I always wonder about all the people who once resided in the house and what happened. So many stories.
• I tutored Harrison and his younger brother, Harold yesterday. Afterwards, Harrison's mom, my mom and I started talking about marriage. Harrison's mom and I have a lot in common. As I listened to her thoughts about marriage and how she felt before getting married, I noticed many similarities. I think I might call her up sometime and talk to her some more.
• Please watch Little Miss Sunshine. I cried. I laughed.
• I watched Annie Hall again. I watched it a long time ago when I was too young to understand or appreciate it. I really like the movie. I think it may be one of my top five favorite romantic comedies. My mama likes movies, so we watched AMC a lot when I was a kid. I think she thought that all movies on AMC were okay for me to watch because they were old. She thought that older movies weren't inappropriate for a kid to watch compared to movies these days. When I think about it now, I watched a lot of movies that were inappropriate for me to watch. It's a good thing I have such terrible memory.
• Whew. I wrote a lot. I also wrote "a lot" a lot. I realized that as I was writing, but decided not to worry about it. My mind feels less cluttered. Sorry you read this all. Hopefully, my next entry will be less disorganized.