The Fall

I attempted surfing today. 'Attempted' is the key word. I eventually couldn't even get out past the little waves. I borrowed Andrea's friend's longboard. It was dense (filled with water because of cracks, so heavier) and way big for me. I realized I need a foam longboard to start. I basically got my ass kicked by waves. It's terrifying, yet freeing to just get thrown by waves. I felt so beat up. I felt that my brain was filled with salt water. Although there's something about being filled up with salt water that makes me feel very purified and clean. I think it helps with my allergies. Anyway, after getting thrown by waves, I came out and just sat for the rest of the time and watched everyone. It was amazing to watch everything go dark and see the thin crescent moon make its way through the dark blue clouds. Getting beat up by waves sucked, but the feeling after was pretty good. I felt purged.

So now that I've faced my initial fear of the waves, I think I'm ready for a second try sometime soon. I'm excited. I really enjoy watching the surfers. I imagine how amazing it must feel to stand on the board, ride a wave, then fall into the waves. I keep seeing the fall replay in my mind. I know standing up is the big deal and it's supposed to be a high. But to me, I think the fall after - the letting go - would be amazing. After that feat of standing and riding a wave, I look forward to the fall. I imagine it's refreshing and so satisfying. I can't wait for the fall...