I got the day off today because of the fires here in San Diego. I've been sitting in bed since 8:30 a.m. I only got out to brush my teeth and wash my face. Instead of being a productive individual and cleaning the house as I originally planned for today, I thought it would be a brilliant idea to just write. But instead of even doing that, I first felt the need to organize all my past thoughts just so I don't miss anything. I don't think that even makes sense. Well, it made sense to me at the time. This eventually led to me going through the stuff I've written in my journal and blog for the past couple of years. I realized a few things:
- I haven't written anything meaningful, deep or good in this blog for quite some time now. I'm surprised people even keep checking it. I apologize and am grateful that you care enough to read.
- I notice that my personality profile fits me quite perfectly.
- I've had sleeping issues for a long time.
- I quit coffee two years ago. Can you believe it? I probably actually quit more like a year-and-a-half ago.
- I feel inadequate quite often: I feel inadequate and know that I haven't done my best because I'm just not passionate about math. It's all physically draining for now, but I'm sure there is a lesson to be learned and I can't wait to discover that... This was from two years ago when I taught at a summer tutoring school. It's scary and sad that I still feel this way at times.
- Hope is important to me. The albatross is my mascot.
It was interesting to notice the subtle and not-so-subtle changes in me throughout the past couple of years. I still feel uneasy about the future as I did a couple of years ago, but I suppose I've learned to let go and embrace not knowing. It's about growing, loving and continuing to hope. Once I stop doing any one of those things, there's a problem. Instead of feeling overwhelmed by plans and what I hope to do or accomplish (which I'll address in a later post), I think it's time to focus on who I am as God's creation and daughter. Am I working towards becoming patient, kind, not jealous ... bearing all things, believing all things, hoping all things and enduring all things? My life theme verse is the love passage: 1 Corinthians 13: 4-7; it's time to assess my life and see how I'm doing in
living the passage.
Only thing I ever could need, only one good thing Worth trying to be and it's Love
2 comments:
I'm glad to hear your safe, I have thought of you and your friends with all the fires going on.
I appreciated your post, just don't be too hard on yourself. I often wonder what I want to do and am envious of those around me.
All we can do is look to God since He is the only one who really knows. This is me preaching to myself :-).
Take care of yourself.
I love you!
Megs
Hey.
That's my favorite chapter.
I tried to memorize last year but it was kind of hard.(or I was too lazy to try hard enough)
revolve
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