Dreadfully Delightful

I got back from Edinburgh, Scotland early this morning at a glorious half past six. The overnight bus ride back wasn't that bad though because it was warm. On the way there, the bus ride was freezing; I ended up wearing all the clothes I packed, which resulted in a bulky 7-layered Grace with gloves on.

Edinburgh was a delightful experience, but dreadfully cold. It was a coldness I had never ever experienced in my entire life. I was trying to explain to my mommy and Ames on the phone and I ended up just making strange me-in-pain noises to describe the cold. The city was covered in snow when we arrived, which is apparently unusual for the city. Nonetheless, I really liked the appearance of the city: the greyness of the high-steepled buildings, hills and valleys, blackened gothic and Victorian buildings, old cemeteries covered in moss, the seemingly never-ending lines of benches... Overall, the city was much more mellow than London, which I liked.

Highlights:

• Scotch Whiskey Tour: I had my first taste of Scotch. It was gross. However, I did learn a lot about the history of Scotch Whiskey and got a free souvenir Scotch glass out of it. We even went on a "ride" in a barrel that went about .00001 miles per hour through the visual history of the drink. It sort of reminded me of Pirates of the Carribean from Disneyland. I realized that I'm really scared of life-size figures. I always knew I was scared of people in costumes (i.e. bumble bee from Hometown Buffet, big red bird from Red Robin), but now I know that I'm scared of wax/plastic life-size figures. I was seriously scared on the ride and it was so slow... They had these figures in a couple of small museums in the city as well... no good.
• 3-Hour Tour: no, not the Gilligan one... a bike tour, actually. I had the time of my life cycling around Edinburgh and soaking in the atmosphere. Our tour guide led us to various sights while describing the history of Edinburgh. Although the cobblestone roads made for a bumpy ride for the bum, I felt quite happy riding a bike around in such a pretty place.
• Free Museum Bus: Okay, I understand this may not excite all, but bear with me here... They have this free bus that takes you to all the art museums in the city. So, one could just spend an entire day going to the five art museums in Edinburgh and travel for free! Well, I didn't go to all five, but I went to three. The museums were quite small and intimate, yet they had good exhibitions. The Dean Gallery was hosting a Warhol exhibition, but one had to pay to go in... I thought about it for a millisecond, but then realized that that's exactly what Warhol would have laughed at - people paying money to see his ordinary things or self-portraits that he turned into art by simply placing them in an "art space" (museum) - therefore, I resisted and thought, "I'm not going to fall for that Mr. Warhol. Oh no, you won't be laughing at me." So I thoroughly enjoyed the free exhibtions. :) The painting of the day was Picasso's "Mere et enfant" (Mother and Child) 1902. It literally took my breath away when I first saw it. Picasso did several, but look for the one where we see the back of the mother holding a child. This is the only picture online that I could find (it's tiny): http://www.tamu.edu/mocl/picasso/xthumbs/1902/xopp02-33.jpg
• Wee: People in Scotland say "wee" a lot. ("I was a wee lad." "You go wee up the road, then turn right." - but road pronounced rood)
• Grace-proof directions: People here and even in London give excellent, detailed directions.
• Pleasant Surprise Message: As we were walking back to our hostel from the Edinburgh Castle, we passed by a park which used to be a lake, so it looked a bit like a valley. The place was covered in snow. Ming and Brittany were ahead and they noticed some huge writing in the snow. They couldn't quite make it out, so Evelyn and I walked up to take a look. I realized that it was Korean: Ggoom eun yee-loo-uh-jin-dah = dreams come true. This made my day. :)

Quite Uneventful

I didn't go outside once today. I felt ridiculously lethargic. I spent my day reading. I found this sappy Korean book, read the first 30 pages and now I'm hooked. I can't wait to go back home and get the book.

By the way, if red is for anger, blue is for sadness, what's a happy color? Just curious...

Familiar Voices

So I think I've used my phone card to the fullest today. I got lucky with this phone card from the post office where I get to call the states for free on Saturdays between noon and midnight. I really enjoyed all of the conversations today... It was nice to hear familiar voices, laugh and simply chat. When I'm talking to everyone from home, I feel as if I'm just a drive away; however, I look outside our sitting room window and realize that I'm a bit more far away. It's still nice just to feel closer to the ones I love.

I feel warm and fuzzy inside.

The gift of familiar voices brings comfort and warmth to me on this bitterly cold day.

With thanks and love,
a smiling me.

Crowded in an Empty Room

There was a light drizzle today. Overall, a grey day with short intervals of sunlight. I went to the National Portrait Gallery. I enjoyed the Frida Kahlo exhibit because I've seen her self-portraits, so it was neat to see other people's photographs of Kahlo. Walking through the exhibit was quite depressing because her piercing eyes seemed so sad.

I walked into this one room with ornate green walls and I sat on the bench in the middle of the room. The four walls were covered from floor to ceiling with portraitures (25 total) of random people from British history. It was a bit intimidating as I faced the stares from all sides - confused looks, sly looks, annoyed looks - I almost felt judged. Although I was the only one in the room, it almost felt crowded. I had to get up and leave. Am I going mad? Possibly.

Working the Corner

Today was quite an interesting day. I woke up at 1:30 and felt like crap because I slept so much. I went to bed at 4 last night/this morning, so I got about 10 hours of sleep; which is absolutely disgusting.

Ming and I headed out to try to catch "The Lion King," but the show was sold out. We just walked around and got distracted by clothes stores, bookstores and Tesco (a convenient store that was fantastic because I found a deal where I bought TWO chicken tikka masala frozen dinners for 3 pounds = 6 dollars, which was a bargain). We made our way over to Leicester Square to meet up with Evelyn and Brittany. They watched "Life in the Theatre" tonight, which was a HUGE deal because Brittany is obsessed with Joshua Jackson. So we were waiting on some corner in Soho near the stage door to meet up with Ev & Brit. A couple of shady characters approached us while we were waiting there. We later figured out that it might have been because we were two girls just standing on a corner. The thing is both men kept coming up to me and Ming made fun of me saying that they were drawn to me because I had my hood on. I was not about to take my hood off though because it was flippin' cold tonight. It was ridiculous; we weren't even dressed to go out or anything. We were looking bulky all bundled up in our several layers.

Anywho, it was fun watching Brittany flip out as she met Joshua Jackson. It was neat because we actually ended up having a conversation with him about USC and other meaningless things. So cute, Pacey is...

Random note: I keep having dreams about going home. And once again (as in my other dreams before I came here), I am not ready to go back (i.e. haven't packed, didn't take my finals, etc.). What does this mean?! Why do I keep having stressed out dreams?! ARGH.

Tears of Coldness

We went to hear the London Philharmonic Orchestra tonight. I thoroughly enjoyed the first piece, which was by Beethoven. The piece itself was quite emotional and passionate. It was neat to see the orchestra actually move with the music. The violinists and cellists reminded me of busy ants when they quickly moved their bow back and forth. The second piece was a cello concerto. It was awe-inspiring. Others did not like it as much, but I think I liked it so much because I am a fan of the cello. I always wanted to learn how to play the cello... Something about the cello's sound is so deep and soulful. As I listened to the orchestra, my heart felt hollow as if all the emotion I ever possessed was in the air of the theatre.

Today was quite cold... It was warming up the past couple of days (and by warming up, I mean it's been in the 50s fahrenheit), but today it was cold again and I feel cold to the bone. It reminded me of the coldest day I experienced in my entire life. Nancy and I were crossing a bridge to walk along the Thames and the wind was blowing against us. As we linked arms and slowly tried to walk against the overhwhelmingly strong wind, Nancy says, "What is this coming down my face? Oh my God Grace, I'm crying." Yes my friends, it was so cold that Nancy cried. I wanted to cry today because it was so cold.

"They call it Hope"

Happy Valentine's Day everyone. Hope everyone had a fantastic day. Evelyn and I went out on a date, which began with yummy Indian food. I seriously cleaned up. I'll post the pictures up soon. Indian food is possibly the only food where I finish everything and eat super fast. I amazed myself.

Then, we wanted to see "Mary Poppins" because it's cheery and so London, but the show was sold out. So we made our way over to the cinema and watched "A Very Long Engagement". Yes, I saw it a month ago, but I thoroughly enjoyed it so I didn't mind. Plus, with Paul emailing me about it the other day, I wanted to see it again. Once again, I truly liked it... truly. I can't wait for it to come out on DVD. I think I'm a fan of the director; I liked "Amelie" as well. Something about watching it a second time, I was much more impressionable and noticed many little things. I won't really go into detail here because I don't want to ruin the movie for those who haven't seen it, but those who have and want to talk about it, email me. :)

The albatross is stubborn. He knows he can outlast the wind.

I Heart Africa.

I went to the British Museum to see the "Made in Africa" exhibit. I enjoyed it. However, it felt a bit strange appreciating African art in the British Museum. I wondered how the creators of the pieces would feel about that. So when I wasn't thinking about colonialism and oppression, I appreciated the exquisite wood carvings and perfectly beautiful pottery. I also couldn't help but think about South Africa. I remembered how hopeless and sad I felt when I came back. The sad eyes of the little boy who was HIV positive lurked in my mind as I wondered how he was doing now. However, I did have a moment of hope. A sculpture called "Tree of Life" was in the center of one of the main court areas. The sculpture was made from gun parts. The story is that people in Nigeria were encouraged to exchange their guns for other things; such as bicycles, farming supplies, etc. Everyone in one town turned in their guns for a tractor. This was a huge step towards peace in the region. The artists took the guns apart and created sculptures that symbolized rebirth and peace. It was neat to imagine Africa in a hopeful light. As I started out my day reflecting upon Africa, I committed today as my day to pray for Africa throughout the day. I feel as if I've almost come full circle from two years ago and I hope to fully understand one day why I love Africa so.

After the Africa exhibit, I made my way over to the Egypt stuff (which is basically the rest of the museum). I felt bad for Egypt. After Sue visited this museum in the summer, she told me that it basically had everything from Egypt. Oh, I believe it. From huge sculptures to mummies, the Brits have it all. I'm sure if they could have, they would have even transported the pyramids; but y'know, they're too darn big. One day, Sue and I can plan a grand heist where we'll steal some things from the British Museum and return them to Egypt.

Oh! They had a reading room which was HUGE - a circular room with a big dome and the walls were shelves filled with books from floor to ceiling. It was breathtaking. It's almost my dream library that I want in my home one day. The only thing that was missing was that uber rad sliding ladder thing (like in Beauty and the Beast). *sigh*

Goal of the day: go to sleep at a decent hour (decent hour being anytime before 5 in the morning).

Dog v. Dawg

The insomnia/permanent jet lag is really getting out of control. Friday night/Saturday morning, Evelyn and I were up until 7 a.m. Our entire flat was up until about 4, so we all went to our rooms but Ev and I stayed up talking about everything from our documentary topics to what we would name our children to whether it's right for me to name a dog "dog" (hence, the title of the entry).

Ming and I decided to do our documentary on finding lost family. We initially got the idea from Ming's own life experiences (she found her family here after 15 years). It's kinda neat because I felt an immediate connection with Ming once we both shared about our family situations and how we both have half-siblings we hadn't seen in about 15 years. Seeing Ming reunited with her half-siblings makes me think about my half-sisters... Evelyn and I were talking about it last night/this morning about it. Evelyn was saying that I should seek them out because otherwise I would just wonder for the rest of my life, which could be true. And she was saying that us working on this documentary could prepare me for seeking out my own sisters - this I hadn't really thought about... I just thought it would be cool to incorporate Ming's story into the doc... I didn't think it could actually be a personal story for me... Something to think about... I'm going to let it marinate.

So from this conversation, we went into talking about what we would name our children. Here's the list for girls' names: Imagine (emphasis on first syllable), Audrey and perhaps Patience. The first two were always on the list, Patience is a new one because I realized that I like it when nice people here, especially friendly old gray-haired British men giving me directions say, "Cheers, love." It tickles me when people call me "love". So then I thought, maybe I should name my daughter Love, but she might get annoyed around Valentine's Day and just not like the name at all because it's so everywhere. So then I thought about my favorite passage - the love passage: "Love is patient, love is kind..." and thought, hmmm... maybe I should name her Patience. I'm still thinking about it... For boys' names: Caleb (Dan, it's not a gay name!) and Christian (pronounced Chris-tea-ahn). That's all for guys' names; I"m not really into sons' names right now. I"m much more excited about my daughter.

After our children's name conversation, I told Ev how I always wanted to get a dog and name the dog "dog". At first, she thought it was brilliant, but then later, she thought it was mean. But then she said it would be okay if I named the dog "dawg" because then it's friendly.

Beautiful

(ok, I know I just posted, but I was listening to my iTunes randomly and "my london/flying away to any country song" came on, the song I used to listen to all the time and imagine myself in London on a grey day looking out my window and staring at the fog - it's actually what I'm doing... this perfects my day)

"Beautiful" by India.Arie
The time is right
I'm gonna pack my bags
And take that journey down the road
Cause over the mountain
I see the bright sun shinning
And I want to live inside the glow
Yeah

I wanna go to place where I am nothing and everything
That exists between here and nowhere
I wanna got to a place time as no consequence oh yeah
The sky opens to my prayers

I wanna go to beautiful, beautiful, beautiful,
I wanna go to beautiful, beautiful, beautiful,
I wanna go to beautiful, beautiful, beautiful,
I wanna go to beautiful, beautiful, beautiful,

Please understand that it not that I don't care
But right know these wall are closing in on me
I love you more than I love life itself

But I need to find a place were I can breathe
I can breathe
I wanna go to place were I can hold the intangible
And let of the pain with all my might

I wanna go to a place where I am suspended in ecstasy
Some where between dark and light
Where wrong becomes right
I wanna go to beautiful, beautiful, beautiful,
I wanna go to beautiful, beautiful, beautiful,
I wanna go to beautiful, beautiful, beautiful,
I wanna go to beautiful, beautiful, beautiful,

Grey Day

Grey days make me think (even more than usual). It's perfectly grey today with just the right amount of fog.

Immersed as I am Here, it is still the bit of You
Translated in me that completes today as a True day of thanksgiving.
So wherever you are and whoever you are,
I am thankful you are.

Breath of Fresh Air for my Soul

So the sleeping pills did not do so well with me. I took two the night before and I felt groggy during the day, so last night my brilliant mind thought to just take one to just give me that extra nudge over to dreamland. However, this resulted in me falling asleep only to wake up a couple of hours later at the glorious time of 4 in the morning to the sound of Evelyn flipping pages in a book. While talking with Ames and explaining my sleeping experience, I realized what a geek I am to wake up to the slightest sound of pages turning. Evelyn walking in, taking a shower, opening and closing drawers... those sounds do not disturb me a bit... it's the flittering sound of pages turning. Good grief.

Anywho, went back to bed around 5 and woke up at 1 feeling gross. But then I had my tea and crumpets, and I was ready to go! I headed off to the National Gallery (my second time) to check out a couple of wings. I took the bus (which is a difficult task because I know exactly where I'll end up on the subway, but the bus is a bit tricky because they make these turns and I have no idea where I'm supposed to get off - it's a fun guessing game), and actually ended up right in front of the gallery. It was a spectacular feeling, especially for me who ALWAYS gets lost. To top if off, a random man asked me for directions and I actually knew the directions. This made my day. Plus, it was raining today so I got to walk by myself in the rain - I enjoy doing this.

The National Gallery was a perfect excursion for me because I just needed some alone time. For some reason, I kept envisioning myself in the various landscape paintings. I feel as if I jumped into all those places. The mind is a powerful thing. It was neat to imagine beyond the painting's borders...

I liked Renoir's "At the Theatre". It was neat to finally see it in person and it made me want to see a show from one of those theatre boxes. Louis Leopald-Boilly's "A Girl at a Window" was probably my favorite of the day. Oh, and the vanGogh!!! It was breathtaking as usual, but I can't wait to go to Amsterdam - the vanGogh museum.

Today, I kept noticing people's eyes in the paintings. One can convey so much in a look, stare: lamentation, adoration, longingness, agony, confusion, nonchalance, frankness and vivacity. Staring at the people's eyes makes me wonder what evoked that look?

Random thought of the day: Why were naked women the subject of so many paintings? Were women just naked all the time?

Gold is falling from the sky!

Today started out quite slowly where everything was in slow motion because I think I was still groggy from the sleeping pills I took last night (sorry Paul, I had to...). I've been an insomniac since I've been here or had permanent jet lag. Plus the night before, I couldn't fall asleep and Evelyn came in around 4 in the morning drunk as can be and I had to take care of her. Either way, I needed to get some sleep last night so I drugged myself.

We went to the Bank of England for my Historic London class. It was boring. While I was tuning out the powerpoint presentation about the history of the Bank of England, I was staring at a compass and realized that the north, east, south, and west letters spell out NEWS.

I think the only fascinating thing I learned was that they have stacks and stacks of gold in a reserve. They have to stack them according to certain dimensions because the foundations can't support the weight of the gold. The lady told us that the Northern Line (a subway line) was under the gold stacks. So this got me thinking: wouldn't it be just grand if some absent-minded person stacked those gold stacks just a little too much and I would be waiting for the train to come on the Northern Line and "BAM" gold would fall right at my feet, not on my feet, but just right in front of my toes. That would be fun... better look out for falling gold when I wait on the Northern Line.

After all that excitement at the Bank of England I came home and had my afternoon tea with crumpets. I needed some caffeine because I felt so tired. You will all be glad to know that I've only had ONE cup of coffee since I've been here; however, I have found a new love: tea. The crumpets here are absolutely divine, especially with nutella. I heart nutella.

The afternoon tea kicked in and Ming and I were on our way to Camden market (street market). We walked around for a while, then made our way back home because we were hungry. We stuffed our faces. (Tomorrow will probably be my post about food). So nothing too exciting happened today; it was a nicely balanced day.

Poor Ming and Nancy are both sick. I just heard that Lindsay was sick too. The strange part is that I'm not sick. I usually get sick quite often, especially after traveling. So now I'm kicking up the Vitamin C intake so I can ward off any inkling of sickness that could attack.

By the way, another similarity amongst all the girls in our flat is that we all like post-its. All of us brought at least two different types of post-its. It's quite funny how all of us ended up in one flat. Also, Ming, Evelyn and I are obsessed with our planners. My palm pilot wasn't charging right with the adapter here, so I've resorted to my notebook which I've made into a planner by drawing lines and writing in dates.

Anywho, this leads me to the random quote of the day:
"My planner is my soul. Don't mess with my soul b***h!" - Evelyn Taft, when Brittany tried to write in her planner. I completely understand.

First Month Paradox/Brighton

disclaimer: this entry is long. it is recommended that you just skim. sorry. i'll try to keep them shorter.

It's crazy to think that it's already been a month since I've been here. I feel as if I've been here longer, but shocked to realize that it's already been a month. It's an odd feeling.

It's been a good balance of hanging out with the girls and finding time to escape to an art museum and recharge. It's fun to keep discovering all the neat things we have in common. Evelyn, Ming and I all like small things. Evelyn almost bought the small version of "Elle" magazine because it was small and cute. Ming spent hours at a miniature museum. We also all like The Beatles. Nancy and I are both passionate about world issues and adore Christiane Amanpour (my favorite journalist ever). Ming and I are both old souls. The list goes on and on.

BRIGHTON
We (Nancy, Ming, Lindsay - Ming's friend) went to Brighton this past weekend. It was a great relaxing break from our relaxing time in London. It was actually ridiculous to think of taking a vacation, but we did anyway because it's a nice change in scenery. I thoroughly enjoyed my time there because the beach is my happy place. It was weird to see rocks instead of sand, but this made the waves sound even fuller and more powerful. The waves in California sound refreshing to me, but the waves in Brighton seemed to create an echo (I recorded a little video on my camera so I could listen to it when I get sad). The last night we were there, Ming and I took a walk along the coast and it was beautiful. It was simply nice to walk, not have to talk and enjoy the beach. I soaked in the scene: I liked the ambiguity of the line of separation between the smooth dark black/blue water and the overwhelming blanket sky of darkness. Something about the beach takes me to another dimension of life.

The last day the sun was out and I could actually feel its warmth. There's something so comforting about feeling the sun's warmth; it felt familar and nice. I sat at a bench and observed a cute family of four: father, mother, son, daughter. The father, mother and son were kicking around a little blue ball and seemed to be having so much fun. It makes me smile now when I envision them right now.

Then we saw a mother on the pier with a stroller who lost her little boy. She frantically paced up and down the pier yelling, "Collin, Collin!" She hurriedly knocked on the information/security booth door. Two security men walked out and scanned the pier as they walked towards the end. After a couple of minutes which seemed more like 2 hours (it must have been an eternity for the mother), a security man told her that her boy had been found. She quickly took long strides back to the booth and embraced her son. I think she had been crying... the little boy patted his mom's back as she she held him tightly. She set him up in the back of the stroller and strolled her two kids towards the end of the pier, an amusement park ... I think the little baby in the stroller was oblivious to all that had happened.

Then I wondered, what does one do after losing a child, losing one's mind? Go play? I suppose so.

Welcome to my world...

So I decided to enter the world of web journaling... I must be honest and confess that I feel a bit uneasy about it just because I'm so used to writing down everything, but I suppose this will be the same thing, possibly even better than my mass emails - I really hate those. I figure this way the people who really care what's going on over here in London can drop by freely whenever they please and read. It's quite liberating for the both of us if you think about it... So just to let you know, this blog will probably be filled with little excerpts from my journal, my random thoughts, at times emotional outbursts, and of course details of the day. Hope you enjoy... for now, I'm off to class... But I'll probably post something later on in the evening. Cheers!