Divided and Connected

I watched Babel with my mom yesterday. I generally like movies where all the characters are connected in some way; therefore, I liked Babel. Beyond that aspect of the film, I thought it was a thought-provoking and intense film. It made me realize that so many things are complicated in this world simply because of lack of communication and understanding.

I couldn't really handle the abrupt cuts and extremely close moving shots. I ended up throwing up (don't worry, I made it to the bathroom. No Mon, I'm not pregnant). Besides that, I liked the movie. It's one of those movies (like 21 Grams) that I'm glad I saw, but I don't think I'll be able to watch more than once. My mom thought it was too sad: This world is already sad. Don't watch sad movies. It's not good for you.

The Bell Jar

is now one of my favorite books. It's definitely on the top 10 list. I found the book at an old, used bookstore near my house as I went on a poetry and play binge. I already scanned for Tennessee Williams (and found a fabulous book with several of my favorite plays; this excited me), Dickinson and I slowly made my way over to the 'P' section for Plath. I wanted a collection of poems, but found a tiny book. You know how I like small things. So I picked out the book and read the title, The Bell Jar. I had never heard of it before, but I liked the title and cover. I basically judged a book based on its cover and impulsively bought it.

I guess it's one of her most famous works. I like Plath's poems, but hadn't really researched anything about her novels. It's supposed to be a semi-autobiographical account of her own mental breakdown and suicide attempt. I found it quite odd and eerie that I related to the character so much. Esther Greenwood (the main character) is much more intense and dramatic, but I understood the core of her emotions and thoughts. I suppose many early-twenty-somethings dissatisfied with society's expectations may also relate to the character and argue that this is their story, but that's probably why this book is so popular. Kristine said it's supposed to be the girl version of The Catcher in the Rye. I can see the similarities, but I like The Bell Jar more (maybe because I'm a girl).

Here are a few quotes I liked (or more accurately put: stuff I wish I was brilliant enough to have thought of first and written):

• If neurotic is wanting two mutually exclusive things at one and the same time, then I'm neurotic as hell. I'll be flying back and forth between one mutually exclusive thing and another for the rest of my days.
• ...I saw my life branching out before me like the green fig tree in the story. From the tip of every branch, like a fat purple fig, a wonderful future beckoned and winked. One fig was a husband and a happy home and children, and another fig was a famous poet and another fig was a brilliant professor, and another fig was Ee Gee, the amazing editor, and another fig was Europe and Africa and South America, and another fig was Constantin and Socrates and Attila and a pack of other lovers with queer names and offbeat professions, and another fig was an Olympic lady crew champion, and beyond and above these figs were many more figs I couldn't quite make out. I saw myself sitting in the crotch of this fig tree, starving to death, just because I couldn't make up my mind which of the figs I would choose. I wanted each and every one of them, but choosing one meant losing all the rest, and, as I sat there, unable to decide, the figs began to wrinkle and go black, and, one by one, they plopped to the ground at my feet.
• How did I know that someday - at college, in Europe, somewhere, anywhere - the bell jar, with its stifling distortions, wouldn't descend again?

Traditions

My mother and I usually wake up Christmas day, have coffee and toast, then watch Little Women. I think when I was a child, I tried to start some kind of tradition because I was envious of all the other white kids who had a family tradition for every holiday, anniversary and birthday. Kids would eat on special plates, add charms to bracelets, spend time playing a game their grandparents played when they were kids. I'm not quite sure why I envied all that so much. I may still deep down inside. Perhaps, it's the consistency and warm-fuzzy-feeling associated with traditions.

I imagine that I would like to have certain traditions with my children: trick-or-treat for Unicef, World AIDS day walks, buying and decorating the lone Christmas tree which was killed for nothing because it has no leaves and no one will buy it. I really hope my children think that all these things are neat.


In these frozen and silent nights
Sometimes in a dream you appear
Outside under the purple sky
Diamonds in the snow sparkle

And our hearts were singin'
It felt like Christmas time

Ma Maman

Me: Okay, bye.
Mama Liu: Okay . . . I love you.
Me: I love you too.
Mama Liu: Thank you, thank you.

We can hear each other's smiles.

Star Struck

I went to the holiday luncheon. Everyone brought a gift for the gift exchange. People could open gifts or steal from others. I've never participated in such a vicious gift exchange. I had a grand time.

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Dan Rather came to our office today to interview Bonnie (the District Attorney) regarding medical marijuana. I guess he was here a while ago for this piece, but they decided to expand the story to an hour feature, so they came back for another interview. They shot a scene with Bonnie and Dan Rather walking down our hallway. I accidentally walked in the hallway, saw Dan Rather's back, gasped and ran into an office. I was very embarrassed. No one came and told me that the hallway was closed for 5 minutes. Paul (the Communications Director) asked if they wanted to reshoot it and Dan Rather said it was okay because it looks more natural.

I was so star struck. I shook his hand. He was so nice. He called me, "Ms. Liu". I usually hate that, but it was nice to hear Dan Rather call me Ms. Liu. I wish I could just have coffee with him. He's seen so much; he must have so many stories to share.

Here's a picture of JJ, Dan Rather and giddy me:

Haven

I'm thankful for...
.moments of clarity.
.laughter.
.a spiritual stronghold.
.refuge.

Now peace is so hard to find
We're terrorized and victimized
But that's when I close my eyes
And think of you to ease my mind
You take me to another place
There's no more war
Just love and grace