A good talk

with Doojin:
It always delights me when Doojin and I hang out every so often. We talk about what we're learning, our worries, our classes, etc. Doojin has become one of those people I can meet anytime and feel comfortable talking about silly fears or my family issues. He took me to Galaxy Hamburger. The place was so neat with pictures of astronauts. The breakfast was yummy and I think I ate more than Doojin (I'm proud to say).

with Diane:
Diane and I were in the same small group a while ago. We ate lunch together and caught up on how we're doing spiritually. Diane always inspires and challenges me. She constantly puts herself in difficult situations to test herself and grow. I admire her heart to become more like Jesus.

with Charlotte:
I'm so happy Charlotte is in town. She looks so Sex-and-the-City fantastic! I simply heart Charlotte. We had a nice passionate talk about global warming. It was quite rejuvenating.

with Michael:
It was a pleasant surprise, a good time of clarification and understanding. I learn a lot from Michael. I am grateful for the lessons to come.

with Andy:
We played ping pong at Paul O.'s house and caught up in each other's lives. Andy and I have a nice encouraging supportive friendship. We're happy when the other is happy, sad when the other is sad. It's nice.

A Day at the D.A.'s

Marianne: I always won the Easter hat contest.
JJ: I always won the Easter dance concert.

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When JJ was younger, his parents and neighbor's parents would make all the kids gather and dance for them. They were always the Jackson 5 and JJ was the youngest, so of course, he was Michael. It cracks me up when I think about little JJ in his white Easter suit and white shoes doing the "I Want You Back" dance. I wish I won dancing contests when I was younger.

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JJ and I were in his office when Marianne walked in giddily holding her ipod and said, "Grace, remember what we were going to have JJ do?" I didn't remember. JJ and I just stared at one another. Marianne finally found her song. She held her earphones up so that we could hear the oh-so-familiar opening of " I Want You Back". Marianne and I both smiled at JJ. He knew what we wanted.

JJ stood up, moved over to the 2.5 feet of open space in his office and stepped perfectly to the Jackson 5 choreography. It was ... awesome.

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Marianne: Hey, Grace. Look at me.
(I look over and see that Marianne has put her earphones on her eyes. She's squinting really hard to keep them in place.)
Marianne: My eyes are playing music.
(Cyndi Lauper's "Girls Just Want To Have Fun" is blaring from Marianne's eyes.)

Studying Stones

There's never been an endeavor so strange
As trying to slow the blood in my veins
To keep my face blank
As a stone that just sank

I like small, smooth, grey stones from the beach that perfectly fit into my hand.

Teach myself to see each of us
Through the lens of forgiveness

It's an Ani Difranco day.

Song of the day/past few months for me: Lag Time. I'm too slow. Must fix quickly.

Interesting read(s)

The New York Times Op-Ed article: "He Who Cast The First Stone Probably Didn't". It made me think. He discusses pain and the idea of retaliation, revenge, etc. He wrote that "we usually give more pain than we have received", which I think is true. Here is an excerpt:

Research teaches us that our reasons and our pains are more palpable, more obvious and real, than are the reasons and pains of others. This leads to the escalation of mutual harm, to the illusion that others are solely responsible for it and to the belief that our actions are justifiable responses to theirs.
None of this is to deny the roles that hatred, intolerance, avarice and deceit play in human conflict. It is simply to say that basic principles of human psychology are important ingredients in this miserable stew.

I think I want to read his book.

Oh, and try to search for the article this woman wrote about how Shamu saved her marriage.

Oh, and there's also an article in the Times about finding the best taco in California. King Taco is mentioned.

I wish I worked for The New York Times and wrote brilliant articles.

Nice

Beer delivery guy on the street makes eye contact with me, smiles
I smile
(Smiles are so nice)
Beer delivery guy: Hi.
Me: Hi.
Beery delivery guy: You look very nice.
Me (surprised): Thank you.

A simple compliment. It wasn't sarcastic or sleazy. It was sweet and genuine. I started thinking about all the little things that make me smile. I haven't thought about my list in quite some time. I encourage you to think about your list.

Let's all do/say something nice for someone today, preferrably a stranger. Perhaps a simple smile will do. I think it will be nice.

Recently...

Visited:

• Portland, Oregon: loved it! It's so green and they have recycling bins everywhere. Plus, there are so many roses and they all smell so wonderful.
• MOCA, San Diego Downtown: enjoyed the Tijuana exhibit. It inspired me to start a craft project. I called my mama and asked for my Craypas set of oil pastel crayons. She thought I was crazy.

Saw:

• Born Into Brothels: sad, beautiful, inspiring. I want to take pictures.
• Pirates II: mindless gluttonous fun.
• The King: well-made. I felt nervous the entire time. About what? I don't know. I'm not sure if it was meant to be so suspenseful, but it was for me.
• Before Sunrise: all dialogue set in real time. It's my dream come true: meeting a stranger in some foreign country and discussing anything from spider webs to pet peeves to fears to joys. It's interesting to watch the beginning of a relationship.
• Before Sunset: sequel to Before Sunrise. all dialogue again set in real time. I have a feeling these two movies are my next big purchases.

Thought about:

• Connect-the-Dots coloring pages: I enjoyed connect-the-dots coloring pages. Although the page was initially filled with a bunch of seemingly arbitrarily placed dots, the dots became a part of a picture that made sense once I drew the lines. I was attracted to the idea of making sense out of something that didn't seem to make any sense at all. I mostly feel like I'm staring at a bunch of dots when I reflect on my life, people, the world. After watching the two Before films, I began thinking about people in my life and connections. Getting to know someone is exhilarating. I absolutely enjoy it - discovering new ideas, thought processes, perspectives. As we throw out all our thoughts onto a huge blank wall, I imagine all the thoughts coming together, forming dots, vertical, horizontal and mostly diagonal lines. This entity becomes a vibrantly colorful abstract connect-the-dots composition.

It is well

with my soul.

We studied Job in Bible Study yesterday. I want to be able to say "It is well..." in all circumstances. I think that only happens when I stop focusing on myself or asking God "why?" and start considering who God is. Once I start thinking about God's mercy, grace, love, magnanimity, I and the question "why?" become so trivial. I'm so grateful that God is always the same. I'm so grateful that I can hope in Him.

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My high school senior english teacher made us write letters to our future selves in five years. I had my letter addressed to Sue's house because I wasn't sure where I'd be at age 23. Sue and I got together Saturday, had lunch and read our letters. Most of my letter was pretty silly and I could tell that I really didn't want to write the letter. I basically went through Mrs. Williams' guidelines and answered all the questions in an outline form.

It's interesting to notice what I expected of myself: hopefully you are single (check. It's funny because Sue wrote that she hoped she was married.), have a job or at least an internship (check), live in New York (hopefully in the near future). I was pleasantly surprised to read the advice I gave myself five years ago. Its relevancy shocked me. Well, I suppose the advice could relate to my life at any stage:
Stay focused! Smile. Have a consistent walk with God. Be humble and don't be afraid to love. If you haven't accomplished everything you thought you would, it's okay as long as you're happy.

After our fabulous lunch and trip down Memory Ln., I decided to visit the Steiner's. It had been way too long since I saw Sue's family. I drove by the lake and remembered our crew days. I loved rowing out to the middle of the lake. I would just sit and daydream. I drove through Main St., our little downtown in Lake Elsinore. I remembered our visits to the City Council meetings. We had to shadow a city council member for a day and I remember we discussed what we should do about development and Mom-and-Pop stores. I had no idea that Lake Elsinore would soon become just like any other suburbia. It saddens me. I also drove by my old houses... moments I'd like to forget flashed across my mind. I passed by Machado Park and remembered I took tennis lessons for a few weeks when I was 7. That's so weird - me playing tennis.

Okay, back to the Steiner household. It was nice to see everyone. Reed and Neil (two of Sue's three younger brothers) are so big. Will Park (was in ASB, one of the few Korean kids at my school) came over and we chatted for a little bit. It's always so warm and comfortable at Sue's place.

We were both so dissatisfied with our letters that we decided to write another letter to our future selves. We'll be 28 when we open them. That seems so far away, but I know it'll smack me in the face so soon. I wrote more about how I felt now so I could remember at 28. I think I made a short to-do list for the next five years. Oh and this time, I wrote about all the people in my life and what I predict for them. That was quite fun.

As I left Sue's place, I felt so full... just happily and refreshingly full.