Dans

Dan 1
Dan visited San Diego yesterday. We did a few of my favorite things: ate sushi, watched a documentary and walked along the harbor. I never get tired of those sculptures. I enjoy that our conversations can go anywhere from talking/debating about Warhol, relationships, how boats are built, new realizations and anything else that comes up. It's nice to be around someone I've known for so long, who knows me so well. Thanks for visiting Dan.

Dan 2
I recently emailed Dan, my nonfiction television professor who basically was my favorite person at USC. I email him whenever I feel confused about my future. His responses are always so comforting and wonderful. I appreciate his encouragement and words of wisdom. He's always impressed by what I'm doing and even thinking. I don't quite understand, but that's what he says to me. It's silly, but I love that he calls me a gem. It makes me feel so small and special.

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a dancing soul...

My room

I think I'm nearly done decorating my room. I finally feel settled in. It may be the favorite in my life thus far. I especially like it in the dark with lit candles. The flickering makes all the pictures come alive.

Weird: lotion bar.
JJ brought me one from St. Louis, Missouri. It looks like soap, but it's lotion(?).

Happy Peace Day!

All we are saying is give peace a chance.
John Lennon

Peace is the only battle worth waging.
Albert Camus

And He will judge between the nations,
And will render decisions for many peoples;
And they will hammer their swords into plowshares and their spears into pruning hooks
Nation will not lift up sword against nation,
And never again will they learn war.
Isaiah 2:4

Peace is always beautiful.
Walt Whitman

Dark Chocolate

Yesterday was my first day volunteering for St. Luke's Refugee Network. The organization supports Sudanese families during their years of adjustment to American life. There are approximately 3,500 Sudanese refugees living in the San Diego area. St. Luke's provides many services, including after-school tutoring. I decided to check it out yesterday after work and fell in love.

I worked with Moses, an 8th grader who loves basketball and hip-hop.

Moses...
his skin is dark chocolate
rich, deep, beautiful
the color of the soul's abyss.

Moses wrote a story about drowning. I think it's the best story I've read from a student. He doesn't make eye contact very often or smile. I look forward to learning more about him.

p.s. Tomorrow is International Peace Day, so remember to sport your peace signs. Andrea made me a neat badge and sewed a peace sign on one of my shirts. :) Peace is always in fashion.

Meghan O'Neil

I always feel so full after hanging out with Megs. She exudes such warmth and love. We always seem to understand one another. No matter how much time passes by or how far apart we are, I feel so connected with Megs. We had a wonderful time of talking about books, family, God, love and of course, marriage. I learned quite a bit about marriage from Megs. I like that she's equally honest about her fears, challenges, joys and achievements. It's too bad Brandon (her husband) couldn't hang out with us. I adore Brandon.

I'm so thankful for Meghan's visit. I feel so refreshed and challenged. Simply being in Meghan's presence is comforting. I love her beautiful soul.

I was sad last night after we said goodbye. I tried my hardest not to cry.

Books Galore!

I don't like to read two or more books at the same time (minus a book and the Bible). I get too confused and feel a bit overwhelmed because I get so immersed in the book. Therefore, I can only handle one book at a time. However, I feel a bit overwhelmed today because I have so many books I want to read and now I realize I have already opened more than one book. I can't just close it and finish what I've already started and go back because it's too late. Once the book is opened, there's no turning back. I don't know how I got in this predicament.

Here is my current reading list:

• A Wrinkle in Time: Charlotte recommended I read the book again and continue on with the series. I pretty much do whatever Charlotte tells me to do because I never regret it. The book is way more fun than I remember.
• The Best of Sherlock Holmes: Dan recommended Sherlock Holmes to me years ago. I was quite surprised and felt that it was a worthy investment because Dan liked it and Dan doesn't really like to read. It has now become my reading right before I fall asleep. Sometimes, I get too into the story and can't fall asleep because I have to finish it.
• The Safest Place on Earth: I'm supposed to read it twice by next week for small group. I read a little bit of the foreword and it seems interesting. I'm excited to learn.
• The Ragamuffin Gospel - Visual Edition: I read a few pages every so often and admire the art in the book. The visuals complement the beauty of the gospel. It's thought provoking, challenging and convicting. I can handle small doses. Reading the book inspires me to write, take photos and put it all together.
• Desiring God: I received a copy of this book from Chung. He mentioned the book a couple of weeks ago and said that the book changed his life. He enjoyed the book so much, he bought the book in bulk and now had a bunch to give out, so he gave me one because he learned that I like to read and I don't mind dense books. The book does look intense. I haven't started yet because I want to wait until I can devote my full attention to the book. I'll probably wait until I finish a couple of the other books I'm reading right now.

I like the idea of books as gifts. It's an exchange of ideas and feelings. I especially like it when little messages are written inside the book because every time I open it or read it, I'm reminded of the person who gave it to me.

I like to think about what other people think about when they read. I want to know what lines stood out to them, how they felt, what they thought as they read certain passages. Reading an already marked-up book is my delight; it's a flashing glimpse into a person's mind.

Beauty for Ashes

Beauty for ashes
A garment of praise for my heaviness
Beauty for ashes
Take this heart of stone and make it yours

I delight myself in the Riches of Fare
Trading all that I've had for all that is better
A garment of praise for my heaviness
You are the greatest taste,
You're the Richest of Fare

Lights Spoiled

White Christmas lights connect the lamp posts along a bridge through Balboa Park. JJ and I like to drive through the park and look at everything (as if it's the first time we've ever seen the museums and organ pavillion).

Grace: I like these lights.
JJ: At night?
Grace: Yeah, I guess at night. I mean, I like these lights right now too though because I can imagine what they'll look like at night. I just like that they're there.
JJ: I knew you would say that! Something weird like that. That's why I asked "at night?". Only you would say you like those lights during the daytime because you can imagine them at night.
Grace: Oh... But, that's how I feel.
JJ: Grace, you're so weird. But in a nice way. I like that you notice things I don't see.

I feel very spoiled in San Diego. JJ spoils me as his baby sister and all the men always open doors and let me in/out first. It still surprises me and I get uber awkward because I would rather follow than go in/out first, so I do this 1.5 second rocking back and forth before I step forward.

XDR-TB

The World Health Organization will hold an emergency meeting tomorrow and Friday to deal with a tuberculosis crisis in South Africa. They're finding deadly strains of XDR-TB, extreme drug-resistant TB that are virtually untreatable with standard drugs. The high rates of HIV in South Africa exacerbate the crisis.

I always feel so overwhelmed when I think about the people of South Africa, but I always try to remember that God loves them more than I do. When I read about XDR-TB, my heart sank. The suffering in Africa makes no sense to me. I don't understand how we, as the world can allow all the suffering to occur in Africa or in any other part of the world. I suppose we have to do our part as opportunities arise.

Could you take a couple of minutes to lift up a prayer for South Africa?

Remaining hopeful,
Grace

Cluttered Thoughts

• the sun drains. I went to RJD (the men's prison near San Diego) again today. A bee landed on my shirt and I nearly freaked out. Julie (an analyst at the D.A.'s office) thought it was odd: You walk confidently around this place, talk to murderers, but you're scared of a bee. Julie reminds me a lot of Marianne. It's scary at times. She has an interesting perspective of me and what one should achieve in life.
• speaking of achievements in life. I was offered a public information position at the D.A.'s office. It's a long story, but basically, I'm not 100% sure I'm going to get it because I showed a lack of enthusiasm the first time it was offered to me. People in this office don't show much sympathy for those who actually have to think things through before making a decision. I feel torn because I know in my mind it's a great opportunity, but I couldn't help but freak out as Gail (the Communications Director) described the job to me. Scenes from The Devil Wears Prada flashed across my mind. At this point, I'll probably take the job if they still want me because it's a challenging and learning opportunity. I think I'm just tired of people telling me that this is the best opportunity that can come my way at this stage in my life and that I'm foolish for not being excited about it. I can't help it if this position doesn't make me giddy.
• I had a nice heart-to-heart with Jules after EM service on Sunday. It was nice and comfortable. I admire Julie's soft and warm heart.
• I like playing with Doojin. We had breakfast on Sunday. We can talk about nothing and everything.
• Johny was in Lake Elsinore on Saturday, so we played. It was neat and kind of strange hanging out with him in Lake Elsinore. I felt a little exposed and vulnerable. I drove him around the lake, Main St., my old schools and my old houses. It was odd driving around to my old houses because I never went back once I moved. I had mostly happy memories at some houses and really terrible memories at a particular house. As I stared at the house I hated, I felt overwhelmed by the events that took place in that house. I wonder who lives there now. Are they happy? I hope so. That house holds so many memories. Whenever I see or go inside an old house, I always wonder about all the people who once resided in the house and what happened. So many stories.
• I tutored Harrison and his younger brother, Harold yesterday. Afterwards, Harrison's mom, my mom and I started talking about marriage. Harrison's mom and I have a lot in common. As I listened to her thoughts about marriage and how she felt before getting married, I noticed many similarities. I think I might call her up sometime and talk to her some more.
• Please watch Little Miss Sunshine. I cried. I laughed.
• I watched Annie Hall again. I watched it a long time ago when I was too young to understand or appreciate it. I really like the movie. I think it may be one of my top five favorite romantic comedies. My mama likes movies, so we watched AMC a lot when I was a kid. I think she thought that all movies on AMC were okay for me to watch because they were old. She thought that older movies weren't inappropriate for a kid to watch compared to movies these days. When I think about it now, I watched a lot of movies that were inappropriate for me to watch. It's a good thing I have such terrible memory.
• Whew. I wrote a lot. I also wrote "a lot" a lot. I realized that as I was writing, but decided not to worry about it. My mind feels less cluttered. Sorry you read this all. Hopefully, my next entry will be less disorganized.