Aura Forecast

I stopped by Target to pick up a few cleaning supplies. I was deeply immersed in my music and lost in the numerous options of dishwashing soap. I heard a distant, "Excuse me, excuse me". I turned to the right and saw a pregnant lady with long brown hair, wearing a beige poncho-type shirt. I think it was organic cotton. A smaller lady was standing behind her with the cart. I moved over to get out of her way. "Excuse me," she repeated. I took out one of my earphones.

Lady: Sweetie, your aura is amazing.
Me: Thank you?
Lady: I see a lot of good things for you.
Me: Oh... okay.
Lady: Many good things will come to you. I see love entering your life very soon.
Me: Oh.
Lady: Let me read for you.
Me: Huh? Oh, no thank you.
Lady: I usually charge 125 dollars, but I'll charge you 25.
(I looked back at the lady with the cart. I was so confused. The lady with the cart just smiled.)
Me: Oh, no thank you.

I saw the two ladies in the baby section later on.

As I drove home, I thought about how silly it is for people to pay for some other person to tell them about their future. Then I thought, even if someone offered to foretell my future for free, I don't think I would want to know.

I usually don't feel that I've really changed at all since I was a kid. I definitely have looked the same since I was five. But, if there's one change I've recently noticed, it's that I'm not so stuck on plans on anymore. I'm not sure whether this comes from me giving up on trying to devise any type of practical plan for my future or if it comes from me letting go and trusting God. Anywho, I haven't had a planner for over a year. I used to not be able to function without a planner. I still have a little notebook to keep track of to-do's and important events (because of my terrible memory), but it's nice to not feel restricted by a calendar.

It's liberating, frightening and wonderful to not know. I'm learning to embrace today and feel comfortable in the unknown, uncomfortable and awkward.

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India again: I received a random email (to my work email) from a pastor in India asking me to come to India, pray for him and support his ministry in an orphanage in India. I think it's a mass email, but I don't know who he is or how he got my email address. Is this a sign?

Currently

daydreaming about:

• going to India (I think it's because I've watched two movies in the last month where the story took place in India. Plus, Sunny's obsessed with all things/people India and I think she rubbed off on me a bit the last time she visited.)
• going to South Africa for the World Cup in 2010.
• living in a cabin in the wilderness. It's a bit weird how vividly I can imagine this. I'm a little scared that I'll actually see what I imagine and I'll be sad because I won't be able to stay.

addicted to:

• the scent of tuberose flowers
• the clearance section in the used bookstore near my place (paperback books for 50 cents! hardcover books for just a buck! I bought a literature book the other day. I like literature books because it's like buying 15 poetry books, 3 plays and a compilation of short stories all in ONE book.)
• podcasts: Song of the Day for various radio stations, Prairie Home Companion, BBC World Select, NPR StoryCorps (please check this one out. I dream of simply traveling and working on a project like this.). I'm secretly (not-so-secret anymore) addicted to the YogAmazing podcast. The instructor, Chaz, is hilarious.

finding it hard to:

• sleep (The strange thing is I don't feel tired when I get very little sleep. It's strange.)
• read and stay focused

which leads to:

• a glass of blush wine at night when I can't go to sleep (I was first intrigued by the pretty color, but it tastes yummy as well. I recommend it for those who are scared to try red wine and feel that white wine is too dry. It's a perfect balance.)

my sanity:

• art museums
• walks and smelling flowers along the way
• music
• pilates

Do you ever feel uneasy? Just generally uneasy without knowing why?

Tiptoe-ing along the edge of a canyon
Knowing that I could easily sway my balance towards
the Secure side of the Ground
feel grateful and safe for
Falling on the Earth
and afraid for what could have been
in the Abyss.

Simply feel the adrenaline of
Maintaining my balance on the edge.

The canyon is frightening, yet seems completely freeing.

Related to Water

I could stare at jellyfish all day.

at the Birch Aquarium.

La Jolla.

I like to think that the two goldfish are best friends forever.

It was strange to see the duck underwater.

A photo from Earth Day.

I heart Earth Day.

Happy Earth Day!

Andrea and i walked over to the Earth Day fair at Balboa Park.

What makes the Earth Day fair different from other fairs?
- bike valet
- hare krishnas
- recycling bins everywhere (Andrea and I were annoyed that they only had these available on Earth Day)
- vegetarian cuisine galore!
- organic food samples
- purses/wallets made from recyclable and used items
- art made from random materials
- eco-friendly cleaning supplies booths (even eco-friendly maid service)

I particularly enjoyed people and dog watching today. I think Andrea and I expected more booths related to the environment, but there many other booths related to political issues. Overall, it was enjoyable and it's exciting to see that more people are living green.

I just don't get it -

- the right to bear arms.

Freedom

I watched Amazing Grace last night. I cried. A lot. It's such a beautiful and well, amazing story. The movie reminded me of the 27 million slaves that we have in today's world. Changes occurred in British parliament through the actions of individuals. What am I doing today to stop this global atrocity of treating humans as disposable and sub-human? I'm embarrassed and ashamed to not have a response for this question.

I like visiting Free the Slaves' website every so often. They're a growing non-governmental organization based in Washington, D.C. I interned for them a few years ago. It's encouraging and empowering to see their growth and see how individuals can make a difference. Ending slavery is not only the right thing to do, but the most necessary thing to do. Please check out their website: www.freetheslaves.net; http://www.theamazingchange.com/free_slaves.html (this is the campaign inspired by the movie).

While watching the movie, I couldn't help but think about my bondage to sin. What grace it is that saves and frees me from sin. I pray for the millions of slaves worldwide. I pray for physical and spiritual freedom.

Although my memory's fading, I remember two things very clearly. I'm a great sinner and Christ is a great Savior.

There's always hope.

Resurrection

I had been feeling overwhelmed and tired the past couple of months or so, but the last couple of weeks have been a good time of brokenness and renewal. Here's why:

.having some good quality alone time (going to the zoo, walking, reading).
.tuberose flowers. They make me so happy.
.reconnecting with the arts culture (watching the Adoption Project, going to the Annie Leibovitz exhibit).
.sleeping. a lot.
.being able to exist and experience joy.
.falling in God's grace, love and security.
.meditating on the fact that God clears all debts.
.visits from Ames and Keisuke.
.good time of prayer with Ames (acknowledging the reality of God's presence in my living room).
.learning about living in the reality of the resurrection of Jesus.

Lake Elsinore

Hamlet is my favorite play by Shakespeare. I usually read it once every summer. I wonder if my love for Hamlet has anything to do with the fact that I grew up in Lake Elsinore. I found a few random facts about my hometown:

• Current population: a little over 38,000. I think that's the population of USC.


• The racial makeup of the city is 65.61% White, 5.19% African American, 1.29% Native American, 2.05% Asian, 0.30% Pacific Islander, 20.33% from other races, and 5.23% from two or more races. Hispanic or Latino of any race were 38.05% of the population.


• Lake Elsinore was incorporated as a city in 1888 but was inhabited well before then. The lake was once a natural lake but went dry in the 1930s. In the early 1960s it was refilled.


• It was a popular destination in the first half of the 1900s for celebrities to escape the urban Hollywood scene.


• Despite its relatively small African-American population, it has the distinction of electing the first black mayor in the state of California. Tom Yarborough was elected in 1966.


• Lake Elsinore is also home to [...] a group of Paranormal/Ghost hunters called Elsinore Citizen Against the Invasion of Paranormal Entities or E.C.A.I.P.E. The group's main goal is to stop all "evil paranormal entities" that would wish to attack or inhabit a citizen of Lake Elsinore.


• On a 1992 Sightings segment, a local citizen group of ten members from Lake Elsinore claimed to share or knew each other in past lives in 1863 Clarksburg, West Virginia. The paranormal television series claimed the small group experienced a rare phenomena called mass reincarnation. The story was covered on a hard-cover novel From Clarksburg to Lake Elsinore: A Profile on Reincarnation published in 1988, but since was out-of-print.


• Lake Elsinore is said to be the habitat of a lake monster sighted on numerous occasions since the 1850s, but the "Lake Elsinore Monster" had similarities to Nessie of Loch Ness, Scotland, and Champ of Lake Champlain, Vermont. The city developed a recent reputation as a "hot spot" for the paranormal: UFOs or flying "orbs", haunted sites (homes or vacant lots) for ghost activity, and repeated incidents of satanism or vampire cults in the mountains near the city.


• It was named Elsinore after the Danish city in Shakespeare's Hamlet.

Commitment Issues

I can't seem to commit to a book. I lose interest either a third or half way through the book. I looked through an entire photography book the other night. That was good.

Iris (my laptop) and I are getting along just fine. I think this is the beginning of a pleasant relationship, unlike the one I had with my old laptop. That thing hated me.

My ipod died. It made hurting noises, then finally died.

I really want to get sucked into a book. Any recommendations?