Freeway Fatality

This came along the newswire and now I'm in a sad mood.

Date: 01-31-2008 4:29 PM - Word Count: 217

SD Freeway Fatality, 2nd Ld
Freak Freeway Accident Kills Homeless Man Sleeping on Roadside

ESCONDIDO (CNS) - A car driven by a teenager who apparently nodded offbehind the wheel crashed down an embankment along a North County freeway today,killing a transient sleeping on the hillside, authorities said.

The southbound 2006 Chevrolet Cobalt veered off Interstate 15 inEscondido shortly before 1 p.m., according to the California Highway Patrol. The sedan drifted onto the right shoulder, where it hit several roadsigns, caromed off a large boulder along the offramp at Ninth Avenue and becameairborne, CHP public affairs Officer Eric Newbury said.

The vehicle sailed about 65 feet before hitting the ground and smashinginto several trees, Newbury said. It then overturned and rolled over a 28-year-old man sleeping in the landscaped area, killing him instantly. The transient's name was unavailable.

The wreck left the motorist, 19-year-old Evan Barker of San Marcos, witha broken nose and other injuries believed to be minor, Newbury said. Medicstook him to Palomar Medical Center. Barker told investigators the accident occurred because he'd fallenasleep at the wheel, Newbury said.

I feel sad for the young homeless man and wonder how he became homeless. I feel sad for the young driver who will probably never be the same again. I don't know why this story affects me so, but it does.

A Few Observations

Kristine and I went to The Bravery concert. There were two opening acts: Your Vegas and Switches. After watching three bands perform, we've noticed a few things:

• there's always a power struggle between the lead singer and guitarist,
• there's always that one creepy, middle-aged guy at the concert by himself,
• twirling the mic like a yo-yo is cool,
• suspenders and sweater vests are hot,
• I have a thing for the shy, seemingly nice bassists,
• keyboardists are usually the nerdiest of the bunch,
• songs that involve shouts of "hey" are fun,
• if you ask us to clap, we won't (all of the bands were obsessed with clapping and especially making the crowd clap),
• but in general, songs with clapping are fun,
• bands from the UK are cute,
• the "frustrated dance" is totally the staple rock-star move. The main guy from The Bravery excels at this.

So, Kristine and I totally have a crush on Switches and especially Ollie (guitarist, excellent backup vocalist). We like him even more after we discovered his name is Ollie. His facial expressions were awesome and he had the sweetest smile. When the band first came out, we thought they looked like they were 10. I was quite impressed by their harmonizing skills. The back-up vocalists were stronger singers than the lead. 

Relapse

"That's what addicts say LiuLiuBird," said JJ to every excuse I gave him on my way to get my glorious two shots of espresso. I told him how it would be different this time. I told him I'm different this time.

I've been a coffee drinker since I was 18. I quit a couple of years ago. I figure it's not that bad. I really think I won't be as addicted this time. We'll see...

It was so yummy. 

Oh, how I long for

36 Hours in Cape Town

Reading the article and going through the slide show put me in a wistful mood.

I need to go back. Soon.

Release

It’s amazing how much better I feel after writing. When I’m sick, feeling melancholy, or generally feeling like a goober, I tend to write more. Ideas, little phrases just come to mind. I get to the point where I physically feel weighed down by these thoughts and I eventually have to write them in the little notebook Amy gave to me. I truly feel relieved after writing. Sometimes, I write down dates. Most of the time, I don’t. So, when I go back and read some of the stuff, I wonder when it was, what caused me to write what I wrote. A lot of the stuff makes no sense, but I don’t mind. It’s simply my reprieve from overwhelming and consuming thoughts. I know many people feel this way about music, art and dance. I always find that so amazing – how people can express themselves and create such beautiful pieces. I wish my mode of expression was dance. It seems so liberating and exquisite.

What's your avenue for expression?

Sick.

I guess it was to be expected. It's been a while.

Siesta

I wish we had siesta at our office.

• There was nothing more satisfying than taking a nice long afternoon nap after teaching a lesson at the boarding school in Indonesia.
• One of the most memorable moments from my high school Europe trip was sitting on the balcony of a hotel in Madrid and soaking in the moment. The emptiness and silence during siesta was absolutely beautiful. The street was completely different from the bustling and crowded street of just an hour ago.

I think taking a nap is one of my favorite things to do.

Live

I watched The Diving Bell and the Butterfly last night. The movie put me in a weird mood because it was so depressing and seemingly hopeless. Yet, Bauby expressing his thoughts and emotions with wit and creativity was so beautiful. The story was beautifully tragic. So, I think I liked the movie. I may need to watch it again. It was visually stunning. The imagination is quite amazing and I think I enjoyed the movie because it mostly takes place in his mind. I want to read the book now.

My life was a string of near-misses, the women I was unable to love, the chances of joy I let drift away… a race whose result I knew beforehand, but failed to bet on the winner.

Andrea and I talked about how we really need to live fully because you never know when you’ll have a stroke and only be able to blink one eye for the rest of your life.

(4x4)+12

Last night, Andrea and I went to a bar where they host a performance art event every second Tuesday of the month. Artists perform on a 4x4 stage in the center of a room. We sat on the ground near (a foot away from) the stage. We almost got kicked a couple of times, but it was pretty amazing. I found it quite fascinating to be that close to a performance. Raw emotion and expression. Andrea and I have talked about taking acting classes. Andrea's had experience acting and misses it. I'm interested only because getting lost in taking on the whole persona and emotions of a character really intrigues me. But, I'm absolutely terrified. Whenever I think about it, my palms start getting clammy. She wants us to try it out this year. We'll see...

Anywho, at the event, I saw the possibility for so many pictures, but I left my camera at home. Hopefully, I’ll remember next month. The performances were very diverse. They ranged from spoken word to dance/performance art. My favorite act was a trio of performers: a percussionist, an accordionist and tap dancer. I could watch them for hours. My favorite moment was when at one point the accordionist also played the harmonica while the percussionist and tap dancer were providing the rhythm. They’re performing at a bar/club downtown next Friday. I think Andrea and I are going to attend. If you’re interested, let me know. It’s totally worth a drive out to San Diego.

***
I wish you a joyous birthday, dear friend. Or, at least a less miserable day.

In the Present

A friend of mine is traveling in India right now and sent me an email the other day with an excerpt from one of his journal entries. Before he left, I looked forward to and was a bit afraid to see how he would change after his six-month journey through India, Nepal, Tibet and Southeast Asia. I was pleased to read his journal entry as he wrote about how this trip is helping him see the world and enjoy what it has to offer. Before he left, I joked around with him and said he was silly for having to go all the way to India on this “find myself” journey, but I was pleased to read that his focus has shifted from finding himself to trying to discover spiritual moments in everything around him. He wrote he didn’t have to sit down with the Dalai Lama in India or see prayer flags in Tibet to find a spiritual awakening. He could find it at home with friends, going to the farmer’s market or enjoying a cup of tea.

His email was a good reminder. Although our perceptions of spiritual moments may differ, I found it refreshing to imagine myself living in this way. I think I have lived or tried to live this way for quite some time, especially after letting go of the planner. But, it’s been a while since I really lived in the moment and focused on the joys of the present instead of being tied down by analyzing the past and uncertainties of the future. JJ always tells me, "live in the now, this moment. Just take it one day at a time."

So for today, I live in the present thankful for little moments of peace of mind. It’s one of those days when I find I have so much to be thankful for.

Exhausted

in a good way, I think.

I made a nice Reflect playlist. My favorite song on that playlist right now: "The Melody of a Fallen Tree" by Windsor for the Derby.

For the most part, hoping comes pretty natural to me. Amidst sadness and ugliness, I like to hope and see the beauty. Sometimes, it gets a little hard.

I'm trying my best to stay hopeful in God and trust him with my heart.

This hope we have as an anchor of the soul, a hope both sure and steadfast. . .

Storms Approaching

It's supposed to rain the next few days. Such beautiful timing.

From the newswire:
Cluster of Approaching Storms Will Make for Wet Weekend
SAN DIEGO (CNS) - The new year's sunny start is about to morph into ablustery wet spell. A tag team of Pacific Storms will roll into San Diego County over the next several days, promising periods of heavy rain, stiff winds and mountain snow, according to the National Weather Service.

On repeat:

• "Familiar Ground" - The Cinematic Orchestra
• Chopin's "Prelude #13 in F-sharp major, op. 28" - Maurizio Pollini
• "Il Secondo Giorno (Instrumental)" - Air
• "To Build A Home" - The Cinematic Orchestra
• actually, the entire Ma Fleur album by The Cinematic Orchestra.